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q6 STAT scan. Using point and examples from the talk explain how this new machine aids in diagnosis and treatment of the patients. v.1

q6 STAT scan. Using point and examples from the talk explain how this new machine aids in diagnosis and treatment of the patients. v. 1
The methods of mitigating traffic congestion have been a heated topic of controversy. Some people argue that the construction of larger roads is the answer for the problem. However, I contend that such a solution is ineffective in the long term, while the opinion to construct railways and subways is a far better measure. There is a common fallacy that governmental spending on building larger roads could address the problem of traffic congestion. An increase in road size could reduce the traffic intensity in the short term, but larger roads also mean that the citizens are barely encouraged to purchase more individuals' vehicles. This leads to the fact that the larger roads would soon be filled with intense traffic again. For instance, traffic jams still exist in several cities, even after they expanded the roads last year. In brief, if this was the accurate solution, traffic jams would not still persist in the long run. Rail and subways, however, could ensure that traffic congestion is properly addressed. Unlike cars and buses, trains are capable of transporting thousands of people simultaneously at a time and thus would meet the transport demand of a vast number of passengers. Moreover, trains do not have to go through the intersections and traffic lights and dedicated lines ensure their travel is being hardly interrupted. In other words, trains are always on time, regardless of the level of traffic. This level of punctuality would encourage many to choose railways and subways as their primary means of transport, and the number of individual vehicles decreases accordingly. As a result, traffic congestion could be tackled successfully. As to conclude, the above facts evidently elaborate that, building more and larger roads is an unsustainable measure, while train and subways would be a much more effective solution for the problem of traffic congestion.
The methods of mitigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
have been a heated topic of controversy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the construction of larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is the answer for the problem.
However
, I contend that such a solution is ineffective in the long term, while the opinion to construct railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subways
is a far better measure.

There is a common fallacy that governmental spending on building larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
could address the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
. An increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
size could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
intensity in the short term,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
also
mean that the citizens are
barely
encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more individuals' vehicles. This leads to the fact that the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be filled
with intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
again.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams
still
exist in several cities, even after they expanded the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
last year.
In brief
, if this was the accurate solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams would not
still
persist in the long run.

Rail and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subways
,
however
, could ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
is
properly
addressed. Unlike cars and buses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are capable of transporting thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
simultaneously
at a time and
thus
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the transport demand of a vast number of passengers.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through the intersections and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
lights and dedicated lines ensure their travel
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put between 'is' and 'being'.
is being hardly
interrupted.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are always on time, regardless of the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. This level of punctuality would encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to choose railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subways
as their primary means of transport, and the number of individual vehicles decreases
accordingly
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
could
be tackled
successfully
.

As
to conclude
, the above facts
evidently
elaborate that, building more and larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is an unsustainable measure, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subways
would be a much more effective solution for the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q6 STAT scan. Using point and examples from the talk explain how this new machine aids in diagnosis and treatment of the patients. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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