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Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer — items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v.1

Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer — items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v. 1
Recently, it is commonly held belief that more song artists have been composing music about topics which were not in favour for individuals as these describe some inappropriate violence and crimes. As a consequence, people are in some controversy whether these songs should be banned or not. In this essay, both sides of the arguments are discussed and analysed. On the one hand, it is undoubtedly that listening to such music like drugs and alcohol make people feel uncomfortable and being targeted. In fact, these lyrics are published and played on the radio and can also be accessed easily from everywhere. For example, when you drive a car and suddenly a rapper sings about killing people and consuming drugs or alcohol, while your child is listening to it as well. This would bring the child to learn these kinds of lyrics and words, affecting them in the future to a great extent. Not only would affect it to young people, it may also target some women or even homosexual- orientated individuals who feel disrespected by the content of the music. Therefore, songs that contain a lot of cruelty and criminal lifestyles topics should be banned from the society. On the other hand, some people claim that this does not have any effects on the individuals and would more limit the genre of music. Since this kind of music is a new trend among the genre of hip hop and rap to compose songs which are about crime and violence, more and more artists concentrate on these topics. If these are prohibited to publish, it certainly minimizes the freedom of speech. Everyone is allowed to express their feelings and thoughts, regardless of positive or negative words. Furthermore, it should be mention that these lyrics are not related to any individual, it is just a style of singing and composing it. To sum up, a ban on song lyrics that promote such unusual behaviour or words would protect some specific people. However, it would also infringement on freedom of speech.
Recently, it is
commonly
held belief that more song artists have been composing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
about topics which were not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inappropriate violence and crimes. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
controversy whether these songs should
be banned
or not. In this essay, both sides of the arguments
are discussed
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
.

On the one hand, it is
undoubtedly
that listening to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like drugs and alcohol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel uncomfortable and
being targeted
. In fact, these lyrics
are published
and played on the radio and can
also
be accessed
easily
from everywhere.
For example
, when you drive a car and
suddenly
a rapper sings about killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and consuming drugs or alcohol, while your child is listening to it
as well
. This would bring the child to learn these kinds of lyrics and words, affecting them in the future to a great extent. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would affect it to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it may
also
target
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
women or even homosexual- orientated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who feel disrespected by the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Therefore
, songs that contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cruelty and criminal lifestyles topics should
be banned
from the society.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that this does not have any effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and would more limit the genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Since this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a new trend among the genre of hip hop and rap to compose songs which are about crime and violence, more and more artists concentrate on these topics. If these
are prohibited
to publish, it
certainly
minimizes the freedom of speech. Everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to express their feelings and thoughts, regardless of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
words.
Furthermore
, it should be
Did you mean "mentioned"?
mention
that these lyrics are not related to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a style of singing and composing it.

To sum up, a ban on song lyrics that promote such unusual
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
or words would protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it would
also
infringement on freedom of speech.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer — items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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