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Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation hove more pros than cons? v.1

Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation hove more pros than cons? v. 1
Modern technology has equipped us with machines, which are working like robots. There are positive and negative effects of these machines on the individual and the society, which I shall highlight in this essay. Overall the pros outweigh the cons. On the positive side, machines are faster, more convenient and energy saving. Households and industries are much facilitated with machines. Personal use of machines gives people more free time to spend with family and pursue hobbies. Likewise, industrial use of machines reduces manpower for task and increases output. In the words of Oscar Wilde - "On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the engine, the future of the world depends. " Moreover, computer machines or robots manage our banks and even the tickets at the airport are issued by a machine - robot. The computerization certainly relieves human beings from dull, repetitive task without a try human error. What is more, robotic surgery is being done to overcome the limitation of human beings, such as trembling of human hands. Microscopic surgeries and eye operations can be better done with the help of robotic surgeons. On the negative side, machines reduce the need of manual job, which can lead to unemployment especially in the developing countries. What is more, insufficient knowledge of automobile handling and operation is detrimental to uneducated workers and they end up getting injuries or disabilities while working with machines. Technical failures can also disturb the whole working system and lead to losses. Other negative effects of machines are on the health of individuals, especially the housewives who rely heavily on machines for the household chores. Machines are a failure where creative struggle is required. For example, machines cannot reproduce the unique and original job done by many artisans. A lot has been rightly said that an engine can do the industry of a thousand ordinary men, but no engine can do the work of one extraordinary man. In conclusion, the positive effects of machines outweigh the negative effects on the individual and society. However, in developing countries, in order to meet the employment needs of the population, a balance has to be maintained between manual effort and mechanization.
Modern technology has equipped us with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, which are working like robots. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
on the individual and the society, which I shall highlight in this essay.

Overall
the pros outweigh the cons.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are faster, more convenient and energy saving. Households and industries are much facilitated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more free time to spend with family and pursue hobbies.
Likewise
, industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
manpower for task and increases output. In the words of Oscar Wilde
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the engine, the future of the world depends.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Moreover
, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
or robots manage our banks and even the tickets at the airport
are issued
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
robot. The computerization
certainly
relieves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings from dull, repetitive task without a try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
error.
What is more
, robotic surgery is
being done
to overcome the limitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, such as trembling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
hands. Microscopic surgeries and eye operations can be better done with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of robotic surgeons.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the need of manual job, which can lead to unemployment
especially
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
What is more
, insufficient knowledge of automobile handling and operation is detrimental to uneducated
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
workers and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting injuries or disabilities while working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Technical failures can
also
disturb the whole working system and lead to losses. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are on the health of individuals,
especially
the housewives who rely
heavily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for the household chores.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
are a failure where creative struggle
is required
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
cannot reproduce the unique and original job done by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artisans. A lot has been
rightly
said that an engine can do the industry of a thousand ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no engine can do the work of one extraordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects on the individual and society.

However
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the employment needs of the population, a balance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be maintained
between manual effort and mechanization.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Now the machine is very complex, and a lot of difficult work is automated. Does this machine automation hove more pros than cons? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
361 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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