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1. With internet improvements, people can share views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is this a good or a bad thing? Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

1. With internet improvements, people can share views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is this a good or a bad thing? v. 1
Research shows that most of ex-prisoners would re-offend after being released back to the society. In this essay, I will highlight some causes behind this phenomenon and suggest several measures to tackle this issue. To begin with, the reasons leading to criminals committing illegalities are varied. Firstly, prison sentences towards serious and dangerous crimes, such as rapists, terrorists, serial killers or murders are not strict enough to make them fully aware of their heinous actions. In fact, in many parts of the world, such crimes are imprisoned for only a few months, which is not deserved with their wrongdoings and likely to encourage them to commit the same offences after being released from jail. Secondly, when setting free, criminals may struggle with making a living and suffer from poverty or unemployment, since everyone in the society knows about their criminal records and would not employ or hire them to work. Seeing all people in the community avoid interacting as well as communicating with them, these prisoners can arise depression mentality, such as social phobia, and therefore committing crimes with a view to drawing people's attention. However, there are a number of solutions that can be taken in order to alleviate its influences. In terms of those who seriously break the laws, they should be given severe punishments, which would act as deterrents and warnings against crimes, and it is fair for them to receive such consequences equivalent to their offences committed. Another key point is to provide prisoners vocational training and education, as well as rehabilitation programmes so that they enable to gain skills and knowledge, which allow them to get decent jobs easily after reintegrating back into the community. In conclusion, in order to prevent criminals from re-offending when sending back to the society, we should increase the deterrence with regard to dangerous crimes, and simultaneously place emphasis on training and educating prisoners in jails.
Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most of ex-prisoners would re-offend after
being released
back to the society. In this essay, I will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes behind this phenomenon and suggest several measures to tackle this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the reasons leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
committing illegalities
are varied
.
Firstly
, prison sentences towards serious and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, such as rapists, terrorists, serial killers or murders are not strict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
fully
aware of their heinous actions. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are imprisoned
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few months, which is not deserved with their wrongdoings and likely to encourage them to commit the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
after
being released
from jail.
Secondly
, when setting free,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
may struggle with making a living and suffer from poverty or unemployment, since everyone in the society knows about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
records and would not employ or hire them to work. Seeing all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community avoid interacting
as well
as communicating with them, these prisoners can arise depression mentality, such as social phobia, and
therefore
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
with a view to drawing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention.

However
, there are a number of solutions that can
be taken
in order to alleviate its influences. In terms of those who
seriously
break the laws, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
severe punishments, which would act as deterrents and warnings against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for them to receive such consequences equivalent to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
committed. Another key point is to provide prisoners vocational training and education,
as well
as rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they enable to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent jobs
easily
after reintegrating back into the community.

In conclusion
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from re-offending when sending back to the society, we should increase the deterrence with regard to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and
simultaneously
place emphasis on training and educating prisoners in jails.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay 1. With internet improvements, people can share views or opinions on certain goods or services that they have purchased. Is this a good or a bad thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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