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Talk about a machine that you have purchased recently or in the pastYou should say: What the machine looks like and what it can dowhen you bought itwhy you bought that particular machine. . and how that machine affected your life v.1

Talk about a machine that you have purchased recently or in the pastYou should say: What the machine looks like and what it can dowhen you bought itwhy you bought that particular machine. . and how that machine affected your life v. 1
In the last recent years, the development of big countries has influenced the increase of immigration. The fact is that, this massive change has a profound implications on society, which I am going to shed some light on. The first and foremost effect is that being caused by moving young generation is that the countries with less advancement have lost their work force. For example, in my own country we get a lot of immigrations due to the economical, educational situations, so this has affected the growth of leaving. In addition to this, my hometown is getting emptier of youth labour each and every day, which is not an acceptable way for workers and businesses. Also, the senior generation is striving to fill this lack, however, they are not able to work full time or for the rest of their life. On the other hand, immigration can have benefits for youngsters and also society. Undoubtedly, if society supports children to extend their education in other developed countries and give them the opportunity of working in high rank business in their own country after their graduation. Not only it will be a great chance for juniors to study and get to work in their own country, but it also has a major impact on society. Moreover, the country gets to have highly educated force from all over the world, additionally people would not consider immigration and we get to take back our work force. Furthermore, this idea of a temporary immigration owing to having a better education and information may cause the advancement of third world countries. In conclusion, settling completely to other countries has perilous influence on the society, although the temporary one, which can help society to grow will benefit both people and associations.
In the last recent years, the development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has influenced the increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
. The fact is that, this massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has a profound
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "implication"?
implications
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, which I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on.

The
first
and foremost effect is that
being caused
by moving young generation is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with less advancement have lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force.
For example
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
immigrations
due to the economical, educational situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the growth of leaving.
In addition
to this, my hometown is getting emptier of youth
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
each and every day, which is not an acceptable way for workers and businesses.
Also
, the senior generation is striving to fill this lack,
however
, they are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
full time or for the rest of their life.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
can have benefits for youngsters and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Undoubtedly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
supports children to extend their education in other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and give them the opportunity of working in high rank business in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after their graduation. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it will be a great chance for juniors to study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has a major impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to have
highly
educated force from all over the world,
additionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not consider
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
immigration and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to take back our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force.
Furthermore
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a temporary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigration
owing to having a better education and information may cause the advancement of third world countries.

In conclusion
, settling completely to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has perilous influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, although the temporary one, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to grow will benefit both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and associations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Talk about a machine that you have purchased recently or in the pastYou should say: What the machine looks like and what it can dowhen you bought itwhy you bought that particular machine. . and how that machine affected your life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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