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q3. The university has changed the prices for parking passes. The woman has a problem stemming from the information in the email. State what the problem is and what she decides to do about the problem. v.1

q3. The university has changed the prices for parking passes. The woman has a problem stemming from the information in the email. State what the problem is and what she decides to do about the problem. v. 1
Ill-treating elderly has become an epidemic in the modern society. There is a drastic decrease in the respect and care given to the senior citizens these days globally. In my opinion, many factors play a crucial role in this change and as responsible human beings we should amend ourselves to tackle this issue. Many circumstances are responsible for the decline in the respect and care given to the older people in the present and increased workload in the offices tends to be the major one. Younger generations work so late in their offices that they tend to be very tired by the end of the day, so looking after someone very dependent on them in a very busy schedule can be very exhausting and tiresome. Thus leading to a dramatic change in how they used to treat their parents and grandparents. For example, people from very poor economic classes generally work in multiple shifts in order to meet their financial needs, and looking after a very old grandmother after working for more than 12 hours in a day can be very difficult. In addition to the time constraint, things like financial constraints and having small children of their own increasing the burden can be responsible in the present scenario. Mistreating the elderly is leading to a lot of changes in the community, like the number of suicides in the older people has increased statistically and the number of old people getting abandoned from their own houses has also increased exponentially. There is even a rise in criminal activities happening on elderly as they are very vulnerable. For example, according to a recent survey analysis the number of people above 60 years in the total homeless people taking shelter in government camps has increased dramatically in the past ten years. Old people play an important role in carrying traditions and cultural activities in families from one generation to another. I personally believe traditions and cultures are at a brink of extinction in the modern era society and the elderly are the bridge that connects the present day man to his predecessors. Their crazy bedtime stories and the real life lessons they teach not only makes us wiser, but also adds a true human touch and meaning to one's life. Any hindrance to this bonding will just make human, a functioning machine in the community without any values and morals. In conclusion, I personally believe the older people struggled enough in their lifetime for the upbringing and educating the next generations. The jobs that we do, or the education we got is just because of them and in no means we can ever pay them back for what they did for us. The least we can do is to look after them with some respect and dignity. Enough measures should be taken by the younger generations like dedicating some time from their busy schedules to spend some quality time with the elderly and constructing enough old age homes to accommodate all the abandoned senior citizens to combat the issues we are facing now.
Ill-treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
has become an epidemic in the modern society. There is a drastic decrease in the respect and care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the senior citizens these days globally. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors play a crucial role in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and as responsible human beings we should amend ourselves to tackle this issue.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
circumstances are responsible for the decline in the respect and care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the present and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
workload in the offices tends to be the major one. Younger generations work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
late in their offices that they tend to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tired by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
looking after someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dependent on them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy schedule can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exhausting and tiresome.
Thus
leading to a dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to treat their parents and grandparents.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor economic classes
generally
work in multiple shifts in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their financial needs, and looking after a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
grandmother after working for more than 12 hours in a day can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult.
In addition
to the time constraint, things like financial constraints and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
increasing the burden can be responsible in the present scenario.

Mistreating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
is leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the community, like the number of suicides in the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
statistically
and the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting abandoned from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
has
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
exponentially
. There is even a rise in criminal activities happening on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vulnerable.
For example
, according to a recent survey analysis the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above 60 years in the total homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking shelter in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
camps has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
dramatically
in the past ten years.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in carrying traditions and cultural activities in families from one generation to another. I
personally
believe traditions and cultures are at a brink of extinction in the modern era society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
are the bridge that connects the present day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to his predecessors. Their crazy bedtime stories and the real life lessons they teach not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us wiser,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
a true human touch and meaning to one's life. Any hindrance to this bonding will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
human, a functioning machine in the community without any values and morals.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in their lifetime for the upbringing and educating the
next
generations. The jobs that we do, or the education we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of them and in no means we can ever pay them back for what they did for us. The least we can do is to look after them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respect and dignity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Enough
measures should
be taken
by the younger generations like dedicating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time from their busy schedules to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
and constructing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes to accommodate all the abandoned senior citizens to combat the issues we are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q3. The university has changed the prices for parking passes. The woman has a problem stemming from the information in the email. State what the problem is and what she decides to do about the problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
511 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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