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Q5. 5 The women cannot shoot outside the last scene for her film because is raining. The two people talk about the woman's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v.1

Q5. 5 The women cannot shoot outside the last scene for her film because is raining. The two people talk about the woman's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1
In this fast-paced world, several countries are witnessing a rise in obesity and associated health challenges among their population. In my opinion, there are various factors such as sedentary lifestyle and unhealthy eating habits that cause these issues. However, several measures can be taken to curb these problems. Factors that contribute to such menaces are manifold. The advent of information technology has seen a drastic change in lifestyle. Jobs are desk-bound and involve limited physical activity. Further, these jobs entail late work hours. As a result, people tend to rely on ready-to-eat food, rich in fat and carbohydrate, rather than home cooked food. Lack of physical activity, coupled with fast food consumption has resulted in a rapid increase in average weight of people across several countries, impacting their health. For example, a study conducted in the UK indicates that the average weight of an individual in the 20th century, which is the information technology century is 28% more than the average weight on individuals in the 19th century. Obesity, and its linked health challenges are one of the leading concerns that several countries face. However, there are measures that people can take to counter these issues. One of the measures is to incorporate physical activity. Simple exercises such as walking, jogging or yoga increases physical fitness. These exercises release hormones called endorphins that promote physical and mental well being. Another measure is to consume a balanced and nutritious diet. For instance, fruits and green leafy vegetables are rich in fibre and help combat obesity by giving people a sense of fullness. To conclude, there are several factors, such as lifestyle and food consumption patterns that result in increasing levels of obesity. However, I believe that physical activity and dietary control help in combating these menaces and promote a healthy lifestyle.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world, several countries are witnessing a rise in obesity and associated health challenges among their population. In my opinion, there are various factors such as sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and unhealthy eating habits that cause these issues.
However
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
can
be taken
to curb these problems.

Factors that contribute to such menaces are manifold. The advent of information technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Jobs are desk-bound and involve limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Further
, these jobs entail late work hours.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to rely on ready-to-eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, rich in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and carbohydrate,
rather
than home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, coupled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption has resulted in a rapid increase in average weight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across several countries, impacting their health.
For example
, a study conducted in the UK indicates that the average weight of an individual in the 20th century, which is the information technology century is 28% more than the average weight on individuals in the 19th century. Obesity, and its linked health challenges are one of the leading concerns that several countries face.

However
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take to counter these issues. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
is to incorporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Simple exercises such as walking, jogging or yoga increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness. These exercises release hormones called endorphins that promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is to consume a balanced and nutritious diet.
For instance
, fruits and green leafy vegetables are rich in
Possible spelling mistake. 'fibre' is British English.
fibre
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
combat obesity by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a sense of fullness.

To conclude
, there are several factors, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption patterns that result in increasing levels of obesity.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and dietary control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in combating these menaces and promote a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Q5. 5 The women cannot shoot outside the last scene for her film because is raining. The two people talk about the woman's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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