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The two students are discussing the woman’s problem with her summer internship. Describe the problem, then state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v.1

The two students are discussing the woman’s problem with her summer internship. Describe the problem, then state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1
It is believed that due to the actions of people, there is a danger to the existence of flora and fauna. Though certain individuals think that it is not manageable due to increase in population and changes in lifestyle. However, others feel that by taking some measures like strict laws and awareness can lead to the positive outcomes. In my opinion, the situation can be handled by taking required actions. Human beings have made the life of plants and animals difficult for their own benefits and luxury. Firstly, the major impact on living beings other than homo sapiens is because of an increase in the population which has resulted in the deforestation. Trees are cut to cater the ever increasing requirement of new houses which also affects the animals as their natural habitat is destroyed. Secondly, modern lifestyle leads to high use of plastics and other non-renewable items. All this waste is thrown in water bodies without treating and it becomes a threat to water animals. Despite, causing so much danger, it is possible that necessary remedies are taken to prevent the further damage. To start with, general awareness about population control should be created amongst the citizens. For instance, in India, electronic and print media are used to spread the advantages of having a small family. Moreover, strict rules and regulations should be implemented by the government to avoid the use of materials that are harmful for the environment. To illustrate, in many countries use of plastic is banned and heavy penalty is imposed upon the usage of the same. In conclusion, I would say although enough danger has been caused to the environment by people, it can be saved by the combined efforts of both public and the government. As it is rightly said, that it is better late than never.
It
is believed
that due to the actions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to the existence of flora and fauna. Though certain individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not manageable due to increase in population and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in lifestyle.
However
, others feel that by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures like strict laws and awareness can lead to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes. In my opinion, the situation can
be handled
by taking required actions.

Human beings have made the life of plants and animals difficult for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and luxury.
Firstly
, the major impact on living beings other than homo sapiens is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an increase in the population which has resulted in the deforestation. Trees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
to cater the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
requirement of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which
also
affects the animals as their natural habitat is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
.
Secondly
, modern lifestyle leads to high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastics and other non-renewable items. All this waste
is thrown
in water bodies without treating and it becomes a threat to water animals.

Despite, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, it is possible that necessary remedies
are taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
further
damage. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, general awareness about population control should
be created
amongst the citizens.
For instance
, in India, electronic and print media are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spread the advantages of having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family.
Moreover
, strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations should
be implemented
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to avoid the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of materials that are harmful for the environment. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastic
is banned
and heavy penalty
is imposed
upon the usage of the same.

In conclusion
, I would say although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
has
been caused
to the environment by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it can
be saved
by the combined efforts of both public and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. As it is
rightly
said, that it is better late than never.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay The two students are discussing the woman’s problem with her summer internship. Describe the problem, then state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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