Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

q5. The assignment for the History class is not clear. Describe the women's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the women should do and why? v.1

q5. The assignment for the History class is not clear. Describe the women's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the women should do and why? v. 1
In recent days, a lot of people favour online shopping rather than traditional shopping. In the next paragraphs, I will discuss the positive and negative effect of this issue. First of all, the main benefit is that it is a lot easier and time saving. The reason for this is that people do not have to travel to purchase some clothes. In other words, this can be done by choosing and completing a payment at home. For example, a lot of people are visiting their favourite shop on their mobile phone, to check some reliable garments for their daily wear. So that's why, it has become less uncomplicated to buy something you prefer to wear. In contrast, the disadvantage is that online clothings are not always the right size to wear. This is because every shop is selling their own measurement, which means it can slightly vary from the largeness you are used to. For example, sometimes you will be wearing a small size, but other days it can be possible that you are required to be a medium. Moreover, this can result that you need to return the item. So that's why, it can have some negative impacts on the digital shopping. To conclude, most of the people prefer to do online shopping instead of the normal way of shopping. It is positive, because it uncomplicated and time managing. Although, it is not always attainable to find excellent clothes. Moreover, there can be some problems with the width and the length.
In recent days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
rather
than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. In the
next
paragraphs, I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of this issue.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main benefit is that it is a lot easier and time saving.
The reason for this is
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes.
In other words
, this can
be done
by choosing and completing a payment at home.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are visiting their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
shop on their mobile phone, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reliable garments for their daily wear.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why, it has become less uncomplicated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something you prefer to wear.

In contrast
, the disadvantage is that online
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothings
are not always the right size to wear. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every shop is selling their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
measurement, which means it can
slightly
vary from the largeness you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.

For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
you will be wearing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other days it can be possible that you
are required
to be a medium.
Moreover
, this can result that you need to return the item.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why, it can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the digital shopping.

To conclude
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to do online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
instead
of the normal way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
uncomplicated and time managing.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, it is not always attainable to find excellent clothes.
Moreover
, there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with the width and the length.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay q5. The assignment for the History class is not clear. Describe the women's problem and the two suggestions that her friend makes about how to handle it. What do you think the women should do and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts