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q4 Using the points and examples from the lecture explain how the rabbit's ears are used in homeostasis. v.1

q4 Using the points and examples from the lecture explain how the rabbit's ears are used in homeostasis. v. 1
Wealthy nations must give employment opportunities to competent, and knowledgeable workers from backward countries. I agree with the statement as I elaborate on it further. Rich countries have a hub of resources. A country with the majority of resources usually has excessive job openings, and immense wealth. For example, Arab countries are rich in oil resources, hence people from around the world wish to secure a job or trade with these places. Since there is always a balance required between demand, and supply countries should open their arms to the less fortunate. Amalgamation of cultures will boost employee morale in companies. When diverse cultures interact, organizations may flourish, thereby generating greater output. The American dream is a goal for many youth in poverty-stricken nations. If affluent nations were to outsource deserving individuals, it would even help their economy. For instance, a person working in Saudi Arabia will eventually plan to start his family life in the country. Underprivileged nations lack occupation chances, as the government is not able to provide for its citizens. Hence, the public of that country is always on a hunt for better prospects elsewhere. On the contrary, if people are to be welcomed to a foreign land the inhabitants should not suffer. In many cases, the natives are robbed of their jobs due to foreign overachieving individuals. This often creates a havoc, and dislike among fellow countrymen. In conclusion, although there will be some matters of dispute, rich nations must consider including employers from poor countries. It will ensure harmony between borders, and facilitate better relationships.
Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give employment opportunities to competent, and knowledgeable workers from backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as I elaborate on it
further
.

Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a hub of resources. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with the majority of resources
usually
has excessive job openings, and immense wealth.
For example
, Arab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are rich in oil resources,
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from around the world wish to secure a job or trade with these places. Since there is always a balance required between demand, and supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should open their arms to the less fortunate. Amalgamation of cultures will boost employee morale in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. When diverse cultures interact, organizations may flourish, thereby generating greater output. The American dream is a goal for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youth in poverty-stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. If affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
were to outsource deserving individuals, it would even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their economy.
For instance
, a person working in Saudi Arabia will
eventually
plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
his family life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
lack occupation chances, as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not able to provide for its citizens.
Hence
, the public of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is always on a hunt for better prospects elsewhere.

On the contrary
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are to
be welcomed
to a foreign land the inhabitants should not suffer. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the natives
are robbed
of their jobs due to foreign overachieving individuals. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
creates a havoc, and dislike among fellow countrymen.

In conclusion
, although there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
matters of dispute, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider including employers from poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It will ensure harmony between borders, and facilitate better relationships.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q4 Using the points and examples from the lecture explain how the rabbit's ears are used in homeostasis. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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