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Q3. The students are talking about the syllabus in history class. What are their opinion about the assignment v.1

Q3. The students are talking about the syllabus in history class. What are their opinion about the assignment v. 1
Marriage and Children are primary responsibilities in everyone’s life. These days there is an increasing trend of individuals who prefer to marry and give birth to babies after they are well experienced in career, over getting into a marriage bond at an early age. I completely believe that this tradition yields positive results in society. Firstly, marrying in the thirties is a good idea because individuals are more matured to handle relations. Today’s generation understands that marriage is a great responsibility and they tend to settle well in career first and then get into this fragile bond. Moreover, people can give more time to their families as they can handle their job with an ease, as a result, individuals can maintain a wonderful relationship with the new family members. To illustrate, the Times reported that divorce cases are dropping dramatically over the past few years as the masses are getting married at matured age and they are more understanding. Thus, though it is a little late, it is best to marry in the thirties, as people are wiser to handle the family bond. Also, parents are planning for offspring little late as parenting is a huge responsibility in today’ s competitive world. People now believe that parenting is an art as they owe the future of their next generation, so in order to take better decisions for their young one, parents are tending to secure themselves in all aspects like financial and health education, prior to giving birth to children. For example, it was reported by times that many childhood diseases such as polio, hepatitis, etc. Are eradicated from communities as parents are being very sceptical compared to the past. Hence, although there could be possible challenges to give birth at a later age, it is better for both parents and children as they are prepared for living a secured life. To conclude, it is better to get married and give birth after a certain age, that is, after settling in career as it gives an opportunity and time for individuals to be knowledgeable and economically fit to handle family bonds which are fragile, especially in today’s world.
Marriage and Children are primary responsibilities in everyone’s life. These days there is an increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who prefer to marry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to babies after they are well experienced in career, over getting into a marriage bond at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. I completely believe that this tradition yields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results in society.

Firstly
, marrying in the thirties is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are more matured to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
relations.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s generation understands that marriage is a great
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsibility and
they tend to settle well in career
first
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into this fragile bond.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
their job with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
,
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can maintain a wonderful relationship with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. To illustrate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
reported that divorce cases are dropping
dramatically
over the past few years as the masses are getting married at matured
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they are more understanding.
Thus
, though it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
late, it is best to marry in the thirties, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are wiser to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bond.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are planning for offspring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
late as parenting is a huge responsibility in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’ s competitive world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
believe that parenting is an art as they owe the future of their
next
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in order to take better decisions for their young one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are tending to secure themselves in all aspects like financial and health education, prior to giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to children.
For example
, it
was reported
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
childhood diseases such as polio, hepatitis, etc.
Are eradicated
from communities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
compared to the past.
Hence
, although there could be possible challenges to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at a later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, it is better for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children as they
are prepared
for living a secured life.

To conclude
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
after a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
that is
, after settling in career as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to be knowledgeable and
economically
fit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds which are fragile,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Q3. The students are talking about the syllabus in history class. What are their opinion about the assignment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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