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The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v.1

The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 1
With the latest developments around, the cost of living is increasing day by day. It is undeniable that to meet the growing expenses both women and men are working full-time. I agree with the notion that sharing household duties are logical. This essay will argue with the beliefs of people who are against the notion and will also discuss the importance of men and women to share their household responsibilities. While some may still think that managing home and its related work is the primary responsibility of women, but they tend to forget about the financial support an employed woman has brought to her house. It is always said that women are good at managing a home, but is it true for doing domestic chores? . In today's world where every house has the basic facilities like fridge, dishwasher, washing machine etc. , doing domestic chores is not a big problem for anyone. Gadgets are available to help individuals, only thing they need to do is find the time. On the other hand, any employed individual, whether it is men or women, they have at least 6- 8 hours of working schedule every day. After such a tiring work shift if one person has all the responsibility of doing daily chores, then it is difficult to maintain a work life balance. For example, an employed woman returning home after a 8 hour shift does all the household chores, then there is no time left for her. This situation may cause lots of stress and even impact the well being of women. According to a survey published in 2018 in the New York times, working women have 50% more chance to suffer from stress as compared to their male counterpart. Furthermore, it is also essential for an employed couple to find time for each other. So, when such couple share their home duties. , they find more time for each other which can help them in building a stronger relationship. For the record, an article published in Times Now stated that couples who share their responsibilities are going to stay more happily. In conclusion, sharing household tasks is a practical need for any couple who wants to build a stronger bond and wants to stay happy in future. This essay discussed the importance of sharing household task and also argued the beliefs of those who thinks against the notion.
With the latest developments around, the cost of living is increasing day by day. It is undeniable that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the growing expenses both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are working full-time. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
duties are logical. This essay will argue with the beliefs of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are against the notion and will
also
discuss the importance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
responsibilities.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that managing home and its related work is the primary responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they tend to forget about the financial support an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
woman has brought to her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. It is always said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at managing a home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is it true for doing domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world where every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has the basic facilities like fridge, dishwasher, washing machine etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
doing domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for anyone. Gadgets are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing they need to do is find the time.

On the other hand
, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
individual, whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, they have at least
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
6- 8
hours of working schedule every day. After such a tiring work shift if one person has all the responsibility of doing daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
, then it is difficult to maintain a
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance.
For example
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
woman returning home after
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "8-hour"
8 hour
shift does all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
, then there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for her. This situation may cause lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and even impact the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. According to a survey published in 2018 in the New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have 50% more chance to suffer from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as compared to their male counterpart.
Furthermore
, it is
also
essential for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for each other.
“So , when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, when
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
share their home duties.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
they find more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for each other which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in building a stronger relationship. For the record, an article published in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
share their responsibilities are going to stay more
happily
.

In conclusion
, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tasks is a practical need for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wants to build a stronger bond and wants to stay happy
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. This essay discussed the importance of sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
task and
also
argued the beliefs of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
against the notion.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram show the stages and equipments used in the process of cement making and how is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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