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The graphs below depict the GDP expenditure of the UAE on two different items (1985-1993) and the rate of infant mortality and of life expectancy in the same place between 1970 and 1992. v.1

The graphs below depict the GDP expenditure of the UAE on two different items (1985-1993) and the rate of infant mortality and of life expectancy in the same place between 1970 and 1992. v. 1
In these days, people can travel easily around the world with low cost and migrate to other countries for living. There is an idea about allowing people to move between countries without limitation. This essay will point out for both benefits and disadvantages about this notion. There are various benefits behind this controversial topic. First, it will reduce time for applying a visa and people do not need to waste a lot of money for hiring a lawyer to process documents. On the other hand, people can choose the nation that best suitable for them and this will bring happiness to every citizen. In addition, living in the new country requires people to learn new languages, which will extend knowledge of the population. In contrast, moving freely between countries will cause several serious drawbacks, especially to the governments. For instance, terrorists will abuse the law to launch attacks. Next, it will affect heavily on culture if the migration focuses on some specific places in the world. This will be a threat to ethnic minorities. In addition, the unbalance migration will cause a shortage in labours, foods, if a city is overcrowded. The governments will have to put a lot of efforts to ensure this matter. In conclusion, moving freely for living in different countries will help to save time and money for applying a visa, enhancing happiness level of popularity and also good for knowledge. However, the government will have to deal with various issues such as terrorist, causing threaten to minor ethics and the unbalance migration between cities.
In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can travel
easily
around the world with low cost and migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for living. There is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
without limitation. This essay will point out for both benefits and disadvantages about this notion.

There are various benefits behind this controversial topic.
First
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
time for applying a visa and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for hiring a lawyer to process documents.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose the nation that best suitable for them and this will bring happiness to every citizen.
In addition
, living in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn new languages, which will extend knowledge of the population.

In contrast
, moving
freely
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will cause several serious drawbacks,
especially
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
For instance
, terrorists will abuse the law to launch attacks.
Next
, it will affect
heavily
on culture if the migration focuses on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific places in the world. This will be a threat to ethnic minorities.
In addition
, the unbalance migration will cause a shortage in
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
, foods, if a city
is overcrowded
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts to ensure this matter.

In conclusion
, moving
freely
for living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save time and money for applying a visa, enhancing happiness level of popularity and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for knowledge.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with various issues such as terrorist, causing threaten to minor ethics and the unbalance migration between cities.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graphs below depict the GDP expenditure of the UAE on two different items (1985-1993) and the rate of infant mortality and of life expectancy in the same place between 1970 and 1992. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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