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q2. Some students work to pay for their university studies, while others borrow money they will pay back later when they have jobs after graduation. Which method do you prefer and why? v.1

q2. Some students work to pay for their university studies, while others borrow money they will pay back later when they have jobs after graduation. Which method do you prefer and why? v. 1
Teachers are essential assets of our society and hence there are multiple perspectives to what they are responsible for. It is generally believed by some that teachers are only responsible for directing students academically. On the contrary, some people believe that teachers are accountable for moulding an individual perspective and compelling them to rights and wrongs in their life. I believe in the latter. Nevertheless, this essay will gauge both perspectives at length. Firstly, some people are of the opinion that teachers are solely responsible to teach from the books, that they should not be accountable for shaping an individual moral compass. Such individuals, mostly believe that despite the student spending considerable time with their teachers it is not their responsibility to construct the character of the individual. It seems like that such people believe that teachers should leave it for parents to do it. For instance, if a student is involved in any dubious activity the teacher should ask their parents to try to teach their child to rectify it instead of doing it on their own. Which is entirely wrong according to me. I believe in the opposite. However, some people who think that teachers should hold the responsibility of shaping an individual, as so that the individual would behave right believe that teachers should go beyond their academic responsibilities and preach an individual the moral, cultural, and social values of the society that they prevail in so that they might not digress from the right path. They believe that for example, a student who act as a bully in school needs to be taught the right path by the teacher primarily and than by their parents. Conclusively, I consider that although, parents are responsible for shaping their child, but it is primarily the responsibility of the teachers also. Teachers should be responsible to teach students the righteous path and that they should go beyond their call of their duty to make them understand, adapt and culture the rights and the wrongs in their routine life so that it can result in their students being morally, socially and emotionally upright.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are essential assets of our society and
hence
there are multiple perspectives to what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for. It is
generally
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for directing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
academically
.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are accountable for
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
perspective and compelling them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and wrongs in their life. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in the latter.
Nevertheless
, this essay will gauge both perspectives at length.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
solely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
to teach from the books, that they should not be accountable for shaping an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
moral compass. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
spending considerable time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
it is not their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to construct the character of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. It seems like that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it for parents to do it.
For instance
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is involved
in any dubious activity the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
should ask their parents to try to teach their child to rectify it
instead
of doing it on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
according to me. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in the opposite.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of shaping an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
would behave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should go beyond their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and preach an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
the moral, cultural, and social values of the society that they prevail in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they might not digress from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
path. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
for example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who act as a bully in school needs to
be taught
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
path by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
primarily
and
Did you mean "then"?
than
by their parents.

Conclusively
, I consider that although, parents are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for shaping their child,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
primarily
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
also
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the righteous path and that they should go beyond their call of their duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand, adapt and culture the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
and the wrongs in their routine life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can result in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
being
morally
,
socially
and
emotionally
upright.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q2. Some students work to pay for their university studies, while others borrow money they will pay back later when they have jobs after graduation. Which method do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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