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Q2: Some people prefer to live with a host family when studying abroad, while others prefer to get their own apartments. Which one do you prefer and why? v.1

Q2: Some people prefer to live with a host family when studying abroad, while others prefer to get their own apartments. Which one do you prefer and why? v. 1
Large corporations and international brands have the power and resources to attract masses towards their products. They can spend an enormous amount of money on marketing and advertising campaigns to lure consumers into buying their products. This may cause various problems and there are a few steps that can be taken to convince consumers that buying local product would be more beneficial. The dominance of large businesses will create monopoly and discourage competition. For example, the presence of the mammoth size corporation or a few large corporations would not let a new entrant enter the market. This would be a win-lose situation as the big conglomerates would be the only winner. Had there been more players in the market, there would have been competing in terms of quality and price of the product and buyer would have more choice and freedom. Consequently, it would be a win-win situation for the businesses as well the customer. Moreover, big businesses are regarded as “too big to fail”. But when they fail, they wreak havoc and cause a widespread economic crisis. For instance, when Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy, its effect was so pervasive that it triggered an international financial crisis and the global economy has not yet fully recovered from that crisis. On the other hand, different measures can be taken to pursue people to consume local products. First and the foremost is that awareness must be given to consumer that buying local product would not only be beneficial for the purchaser but also for the entire nation. Moreover, the government must encourage entrepreneurship and small medium enterprises by granting easy access to loans and funds. Therefore, the crux of the matter is that large corporations are indeed vital for economic progress. However, if they fail, it can cause an economic turmoil. So, there is a need to maintain a balance between large businesses and small medium local enterprises.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
and international brands have the power and resources to attract masses towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. They can spend an enormous amount of money on marketing and advertising campaigns to lure consumers into buying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This may cause various problems and there are a few steps that can
be taken
to convince consumers that buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would be more beneficial.

The dominance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
will create monopoly and discourage competition.
For example
, the presence of the mammoth size
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporation
or a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
a new entrant enter the market. This would be a win-lose situation as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
conglomerates would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
winner. Had there been more players in the market, there would have been competing in terms of quality and price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and buyer would have more choice and freedom.
Consequently
, it would be a win-win situation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
as well
the customer.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are regarded
as “too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
to fail”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when they fail, they wreak havoc and cause a widespread economic crisis.
For instance
, when Lehman Brothers declared bankruptcy, its effect was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pervasive that it triggered an international financial crisis and the global economy has not
yet
fully
recovered from that crisis.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
measures can
be taken
to pursue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
First
and the foremost is that awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to consumer that buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be beneficial for the purchaser
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the entire nation.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage entrepreneurship and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
medium enterprises by granting easy access to loans and funds.

Therefore
, the crux of the matter is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
are
indeed
vital for economic progress.
However
, if they fail, it can cause an economic turmoil.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there is a need to maintain a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
medium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
enterprises.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Q2: Some people prefer to live with a host family when studying abroad, while others prefer to get their own apartments. Which one do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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