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Q2: Do you think is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response. v.1

Q2: Do you think is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response. v. 1
In today's complex society, the majority of people are not considered enough energetic and fit as their ancestors. There might be several causes of this potential issue, although I believe societies should take steps to mitigate them. As people are inclined to have an unhealthy life style, several related issues might be anticipated. Firstly, people are more likely to work extra hours due to earning higher salaries. That is to say that, some employees spend a great deal of time in their sitting jobs resulting no time for daily exercises. Another concerning point is that some people are just obsessed with using various gadgets which are leading to the leniency about the obesity and unhealthy life conditions. In comparison with older generations, younger ones tend to squander their precise time just on the latest developments of this century without concerning their health situation. There are several actions to tackle the problems described above. To begin with, since the growing demand for money cannot be diminished, I would deem that the companies had better to supply their staffs with some simple gym facilities and even, certain sport hours in the offices. In this way, some per cent of employees might be encouraged to use these facilities as they will have an easy access to them. Another possible solution is that the governments should try to attract the population to the active living conditions by stimulating them. For example, if states motivate the citizens by providing them with unpaid sport halls, some of them will be convinced to engage in them. In conclusion, the people's concerning problem such as the obesity and harmful life styles can be overcome by the encouragement which ought to be addressed by states and employers
In
today
's complex society, the majority of
people
are not considered
enough
energetic and fit as their ancestors. There might be several causes of this potential issue, although I believe societies should take steps to mitigate them.

As
people
are inclined
to have an unhealthy life style, several related issues might
be anticipated
.
Firstly
,
people
are more likely to work extra hours due to earning higher salaries.
That is
to say that,
some
employees spend a great deal of time in their sitting jobs resulting no time for daily exercises. Another concerning point is that
some
people
are
just
obsessed with using various gadgets which are leading to the leniency about the obesity and unhealthy life conditions.
In comparison
with older generations, younger ones tend to squander their precise time
just
on the latest developments of this century without concerning their health situation.

There are several actions to tackle the problems
described
above. To
begin
with, since the growing demand for money cannot
be diminished
, I would deem that the
companies
had better to supply their staffs with
some
simple gym facilities and even, certain sport hours in the offices. In this way,
some
per cent of employees might
be encouraged
to
use
these facilities as they will have
an easy access
to them. Another possible solution is that the
governments
should try to attract the population to the active living conditions by stimulating them.
For example
, if states motivate the citizens by providing them with unpaid sport halls,
some
of them will
be convinced
to engage in them.

In conclusion
, the
people
's concerning problem such as the obesity and harmful life styles can
be overcome
by the encouragement which ought to
be addressed
by states and employers
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Q2: Do you think is better to marry before or after the age of thirty? Use reasons to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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