Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

q1 Which custom from your country do you thing people from other countries should adopt? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

q1 Which custom from your country do you thing people from other countries should adopt? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
Nowadays, opening museums for citizens is becoming expensive day by day because of the insufficient funds. This essay will discuss that giving the responsibility of allocating money to museums solely to the Government and multinational companies is the viable solution to this problem. Culture is not stagnant as it changes from generation to generation and maintaining a gallery demands a considerable amount of money. So, the Government should allocate national budget towards the maintenance and the long run of museums for the future generation. Nations should subsidize the price of an entry ticket to the museums, so that everyone can afford to visit it with their family and friends. This money, which the public pays can be used by the country to keep the museum in a good condition. For instance, a very famous art gallery in Canada, is free and open to all as the country supports it. Therefore, in order to preserve the local heritage and tradition in the form of museums, Government should be responsible for funding it. Despite this, transnational companies should donate some funds to support art galleries. It can be lucrative for the organization as they can promote their merchandise by organizing exhibitions in the museum. For example, last year in a historical museum in New Delhi, Nike arranged a show displaying all the products, which was a huge success and the company donated most of the profit for the maintenance of the gallery. Hence, business companies should invest in galleries so as to promote their local culture. In conclusion, it is equally important for companies as well governments to help and support in keeping the museums open. It is recommended that citizens should pay their taxes on time, so that the nation can in return help them by reducing the price of entry tickets.
Nowadays, opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
for citizens is becoming expensive day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the insufficient funds. This essay will discuss that giving the responsibility of allocating money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
solely
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is the viable solution to this problem.

Culture is not stagnant as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from generation to generation and maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
demands a considerable amount of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should allocate national budget towards the maintenance and the long run of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
for the future generation. Nations should subsidize the price of an entry ticket to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that everyone can afford to visit it with their family and friends. This money, which the public pays can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
in Canada, is free and open to all as the country supports it.
Therefore
, in order to preserve the local heritage and tradition in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should be responsible for funding it.

Despite this, transnational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds to support art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
. It can be lucrative for the organization as they can promote their merchandise by organizing exhibitions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
For example
, last year in a historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in New Delhi, Nike arranged a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
displaying all the products, which was a huge success and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
donated most of the profit for the maintenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
.
Hence
, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
promote their local culture.

In conclusion
, it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and support in keeping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
open. It
is recommended
that citizens should pay their taxes on time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the nation can in return
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by reducing the price of entry tickets.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay q1 Which custom from your country do you thing people from other countries should adopt? Use details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts