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When a new technology is released, some people like to try it right away, whileothers prefer to wait until the technology becomes more established and popular. Howdo you feel about new technology? Explain your answer with details and examples v.1

When a new technology is released, some people like to try it right away, whileothers prefer to wait until the technology becomes more established and popular. Howdo you feel about new technology? Explain your answer with details and examples v. 1
It is often argued that females should portray similar part as males in a nation’s army, whereas others feel that women are inappropriate for such roles. This essay will discuss both the views and argue that females should be given equal opportunities to serve their country in police force. Some people think that women are not physically and emotionally strong enough to fight with the criminals when compared to men. Furthermore, the mindset of many people is that men are brute, while females are deemed to be more compassionate and loving. A recent survey in India exhibits that more than 60% of the population think that women should only do household chores. This orthodox thinking of people, especially in under developed countries, deter the ladies from joining the army and the police academy. Despite this, women have made their place in every male dominated field, whether it is being a CEO of a multinational company or acquiring a high-level rank in the police force. Over the last century, females are proving themselves to be the best in every department. Yet, they are not fully accepted in every field by the society. Every citizen should be given equal opportunity to show patriotism towards their nation irrespective of their gender. For example, in case of war, if women are well trained with weapons, they can be of great help against the enemies. Hence, people should change their thinking over time and give equal status to men and women. In conclusion, although men are more physically strong by nature compared to females, giving proper training to women is sufficient to join military. It is recommended that governments should conduct public awareness campaigns in developing areas to educate citizens about the equality of both sexes.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
should portray similar part as males in a nation’s army, whereas others feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are inappropriate for such roles. This essay will discuss both the views and argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunities to serve their country in police force.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not
physically
and
emotionally
strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to fight with the criminals when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Furthermore
, the mindset of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are brute, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are deemed
to be more compassionate and loving. A recent survey in India exhibits that more than 60% of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do household chores. This orthodox thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
in under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, deter the ladies from joining the army and the police academy.

Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have made their place in every male dominated field, whether it is being a CEO of a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or acquiring a high-level rank in the police force. Over the last century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are proving themselves to be the best in every department.
Yet
, they are not
fully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in every field by the society. Every citizen should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
patriotism towards their nation irrespective of their gender.
For example
, in case of war, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
with weapons, they can be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
against the enemies.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their thinking over time and give equal status to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more
physically
strong by nature compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, giving proper training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is sufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
military. It
is recommended
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should conduct public awareness campaigns in developing areas to educate citizens about the equality of both sexes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay When a new technology is released, some people like to try it right away, whileothers prefer to wait until the technology becomes more established and popular. Howdo you feel about new technology? Explain your answer with details and examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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