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Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v.3

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 3
TODAY'S YOUNGSTERS ARE HIGHLY ENERGETIC AND INNOVATIVE. MYRIAD OF YOUGTH ENCOARAGED TO BE SELF EMPLOYED AFTER HEARING THE STORY OF A SUCCESSFUL YOUNG BUSINESSMEN BECAUSE OF THE NUMEROUS MERITS OF DOING OWN BUSINESS THAN DEMERITS. HENCE, I DO NOT THINK SO THAT CONS OF SEL EMPYOEEMENT CAN OUTWEIGH THE PROS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF BEING EMPLYOEER AND HOW DISADVANTAGE ARE AT LEAST CONCERN IN FRONTOF FAMILY VALUE. ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAJOR BENEFIT OF DOING BUSINESS IS THAT IT GIVES A FLEXIBILITY IN WORKING TIME AND PLACE. AND THUS, THAT PERSON IS NOT BONDED TO OPT FOER WORK ON FIXED TIME RATHER ONE HAS A RIGHT TO OPERATE THE BUSINESS FROM ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME AT HIS CONVINIENCE. HOWEVER, WORKERS SHOULD BE PUNTUAL IN THEIR TIME AND WORK AS THEY ARE BEING PAID FOR FIXED HOURS WORKS. FOR EXAMPLE, ONE OF MY FRIEND OWN'S A STATIONARY SHOP. SO WHENEVER HE GETS EMERGENCY WHETHER PERSONAL OR PROFESSIONAL, HE USED TO TAKE A DAYOFF. I THINK THUS, PEOPLE FIND EASY AND MORE FLEXIBLE TO ONW A BUSINSS THAT BEING EMPLOYEE. ON THE OTHER HAND, WORKING FOR SELF GIVES MORE BURDEN AND RESPONSIBILTY THAN WORKING FOR AN EMPLOYER. ONE HAS TO WORK MORE THAN 9 HOURS PER DAY TO INCREASE THE PROFITS AND EXPANSION OF BUSINESS. THIS LEAVES A LESS TIME FOR THEM TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR FSMILY AND FRIENDS. AND AS A RESULT LACK OF TIME FOR CONVERSATION BUILD A BRIDGE IN BETWEEN THEM. HOWEVER, AS FAR AS THEY ARE AVAILABLE DURING NEEDED TIME, THIS SMALL PROBLEMS CAN BE NEGOTIATE. FOR INSTANCE, A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN TOLD IN THE INTERVIEW THAT HE USED TO HAVE PERSONAL ISSUES A LOT BUT AT THE END EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WITH PROPER UNDERSTANDINGS. IN CONCLUSION, WHETHER THE INDIVIDUAL IS SELF-EMPLOYED OR EMPLYEE, EVERY FAMILY NEEDS SUPPORT, AFFECTION AND TIME. AND THIS REQUIREMENT, A BUSINESS OWNER CAN FULLFILL AT THE BEST. THUS, NEW GENERATION ARE MORE INFLUENCED WITH OPERATINNG BUSINESS AS OWNER THAN WORKING FOR THE COMPANY.
TODAY
'S YOUNGSTERS ARE
HIGHLY
ENERGETIC AND INNOVATIVE. MYRIAD OF
YOUGTH
ENCOARAGED
TO BE SELF EMPLOYED AFTER HEARING THE STORY OF A SUCCESSFUL YOUNG
BUSINESSMEN
BECAUSE
OF THE NUMEROUS MERITS OF DOING
OWN
BUSINESS
THAN DEMERITS.
HENCE
, I DO NOT
THINK
SO
THAT CONS OF SEL
EMPYOEEMENT
CAN OUTWEIGH THE PROS. THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF BEING
EMPLYOEER
AND HOW DISADVANTAGE ARE AT LEAST CONCERN IN
FRONTOF
FAMILY VALUE.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE MAJOR BENEFIT OF DOING
BUSINESS
IS THAT IT GIVES A FLEXIBILITY IN
WORKING
TIME
AND PLACE. AND
THUS
, THAT PERSON IS NOT BONDED TO OPT
FOER
WORK
ON
FIXED
TIME
RATHER
ONE HAS A RIGHT TO OPERATE THE
BUSINESS
FROM ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME AT HIS
CONVINIENCE
.
HOWEVER
, WORKERS SHOULD BE
PUNTUAL
IN THEIR
TIME
AND
WORK
AS THEY ARE
BEING PAID
FOR
FIXED
HOURS WORKS.
FOR EXAMPLE
, ONE OF MY FRIEND
OWN
'S A
STATIONARY
SHOP.
SO
WHENEVER HE
GETS
EMERGENCY WHETHER PERSONAL OR PROFESSIONAL, HE
USED
TO TAKE A
DAYOFF
. I
THINK
THUS
,
PEOPLE
FIND EASY AND MORE FLEXIBLE TO
ONW
A
BUSINSS
THAT BEING EMPLOYEE.

ON THE OTHER HAND
,
WORKING
FOR SELF GIVES MORE BURDEN AND
RESPONSIBILTY
THAN
WORKING
FOR AN EMPLOYER. ONE
HAS TO
WORK
MORE THAN 9 HOURS PER DAY TO INCREASE THE PROFITS AND EXPANSION OF
BUSINESS
. THIS
LEAVES
A LESS
TIME
FOR THEM TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEIR
FSMILY
AND FRIENDS. AND
AS A RESULT
LACK OF
TIME
FOR CONVERSATION BUILD A BRIDGE IN BETWEEN THEM.
HOWEVER
, AS FAR AS THEY ARE AVAILABLE DURING NEEDED
TIME
, THIS
SMALL
PROBLEMS CAN BE
NEGOTIATE
.
FOR INSTANCE
, A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN
TOLD
IN THE INTERVIEW THAT HE
USED
TO HAVE PERSONAL ISSUES A LOT
BUT
AT THE
END
EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WITH PROPER UNDERSTANDINGS.

IN CONCLUSION
, WHETHER THE INDIVIDUAL IS SELF-EMPLOYED OR
EMPLYEE
, EVERY FAMILY NEEDS SUPPORT, AFFECTION AND
TIME
. AND THIS REQUIREMENT, A
BUSINESS
OWNER CAN
FULLFILL
AT THE BEST.
THUS
, NEW GENERATION ARE MORE INFLUENCED WITH
OPERATINNG
BUSINESS
AS OWNER THAN
WORKING
FOR THE
COMPANY
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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