Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v.1

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 1
In today’s era, people are forgetting old customs, traditions, cultures and beliefs. If people will not preserve its own native customs and traditions, then they will lose its own identity in this world. One of the most valued Indian tradition which I believe every country should adopt or remain alive is living in Joint families. Today culture of living in joint families, especially in western countries has disappeared. People prefer to live in nuclear families which affect in negative way in a long run. The primary advantage of living in joint family is a sense of togetherness among family members. There is peace and harmony among elders, children, siblings, which eventually help to preserve our past beliefs, traditions and cultures. For instance, children able to spent quality time with results in passing of old values and traditions to offspring. These preserve the customs and harmony is maintained in the family. However, in nuclear families, people tend to take decision on their own and also not suggested by their ancestors. Hence, Joint families are more helpful in creating peace, harmony and a sense of togetherness in today’s competitive era. Moreover, living in big family also helps a lot difficult or critical situation. For example, my cousin met with an accident last year and need a surgery which was costing around 2 lakhs. As my uncle income is low, he cannot afford paying such high valued bill. In such case, my father, grandfather helps him financially to solve the problem. In such situation, living in joint families helps to fight financial problems, Social problems and morals. In case of nuclear families, all problems need to be solved alone without the intervention of any other family member. If such problem had not been solved, the family would have to face stressful life. In such situation, there are chances that an individual might take negative steps. To sum-up, living together creates a more sensible family than living alone. People tend to be more positive, peaceful, lively and sensible by living in joint families.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forgetting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
customs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, cultures and beliefs. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not preserve its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
native customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, then they will lose its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity in this world. One of the most valued Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
which I believe every country should adopt or remain alive is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Joint
families.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
especially
in western countries has disappeared.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which affect in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way in a long run. The primary advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a sense of togetherness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. There is peace and harmony among elders, children, siblings, which
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to preserve our past beliefs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
and cultures.
For instance
, children able to spent quality time with results in passing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
to offspring. These preserve the customs and harmony
is maintained
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
, in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to take decision on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and
also
not suggested by their ancestors.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are more helpful in creating peace, harmony and a sense of togetherness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive era.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a lot difficult or critical situation.
For example
, my cousin met with an accident last year and need a surgery which was costing around 2 lakhs. As my uncle income is low, he cannot afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to pay".
paying
such high valued bill. In such case, my father, grandfather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
him
financially
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. In such situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to fight financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and morals.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
case of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
need to
be solved
alone without the intervention of any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member. If such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
had not
been solved
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face stressful life. In such situation, there are chances that an individual might take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
steps.

To sum-up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together creates a more sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, peaceful, lively and sensible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts