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q1 What kind of material such as novel, magazines or poetry do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why do you find this kind of reading material interesting. v.1

q1 What kind of material such as novel, magazines or poetry do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why do you find this kind of reading material interesting. v. 1
There is little doubt about how vital it is for people to adopt a healthy lifestyle, but there are conflicting views as to who should be responsible for its promotion and enforcement. Although some believe that the government should shoulder this responsibility, others, myself including, think it should be every individual's duty. The People themselves benefit primarily in their personal lives from eating healthily and taking more exercise. It allows them to remain healthy, avoid different illnesses like heart disease and arthritis, and enjoy increased longevity. Living healthily also allows them to be more active in the society and at work because they are more likely to feel energized and refreshed throughout the day. Consequently, they can focus more on their social and professional efforts, which would significantly increase their social and work status. Therefore, it seems logical to hold every individual responsible for adopting a healthy lifestyle. Some argue that the government should enforce a healthy lifestyle because they have the means of raising awareness through the educational system and introduce relevant regulations obliging their citizens to make the necessary changes in their way of life. However, most adults tend to change and adjust their lifestyle according to their experiences and desires after leaving school, forgetting most, if not all, of what they have been taught. Furthermore, it would be unwise for authorities to meddle in people's private lives and have them to conform to any regulation that affect their personal lives. In conclusion, I believe that individuals ought to bear the responsibility of following and promoting a healthy way of life since they can enjoy the benefits in their personal, social and work lives.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
doubt about how vital it is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to adopt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are conflicting views as to who should be responsible for its promotion and enforcement. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should shoulder this responsibility, others, myself including,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be every individual's duty.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
themselves benefit
primarily
in their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from eating
healthily
and taking more exercise. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
illnesses like heart disease and arthritis, and enjoy increased longevity. Living
healthily
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to be more active in the society and at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are more likely to feel energized and refreshed throughout the day.
Consequently
, they can focus more on their social and professional efforts, which would
significantly
increase their social and work status.
Therefore
, it seems logical to hold every individual responsible for adopting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enforce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have the means of raising awareness through the educational system and introduce relevant regulations obliging their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their way of life.
However
, most adults tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and adjust their lifestyle according to their experiences and desires after leaving school, forgetting most, if not all, of what they have
been taught
.
Furthermore
, it would be unwise for authorities to meddle in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and have them to conform to any regulation that affect their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I believe that individuals ought to bear the responsibility of following and promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
way of life since they can enjoy the benefits in their personal, social and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay q1 What kind of material such as novel, magazines or poetry do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why do you find this kind of reading material interesting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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