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Describe a city or town where you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place or not a good place to live. Include details and examples in your explanations. v.1

Describe a city or town where you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place or not a good place to live. Include details and examples in your explanations. v. 1
Life has become much more difficult than the past. This has led to increased stress related illnesses around the globe. Stress has become a problem in today’s world because of increased job load and poor diet. It can be solved by having a balanced work-life routine and improving dietary habits. In today’s fast-paced world, work contributes a great deal to person’s tension. The competition in the employment is so high, that most workers either spend the entire day at the office or work from home without getting any time to relax. In addition, people eat more junk food nowadays as compared to our parent’s generation which further increases the potential to get sick. For example, the average number of hours employer spends at a job is 60 per week compared to 35 in the past. The problems caused by stress can be solved by having a proper work life balance and a good diet. People should have a timetable, which includes time for employment, family and friends, which they should follow in order to lead a healthy life. They should also monitor what they eat and should increase the amount of vegetables and proteins instead of the fatty, oily food they get outside. To illustrate, a recent study published by Harvard University, showed that the number one cause of serious diseases like diabetes and hypertension is stress. In conclusion, tension related diseases have increased nowadays because life has become more exhausting. The two main reasons for stress are increased work burden and unhealthy eating. The solutions to overcome these problems are twofold: good work life balance and healthy diet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
has become much more difficult than the past. This has led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
related illnesses around the globe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
has become a problem in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
job load and poor diet. It can
be solved
by having a balanced work-life routine and improving dietary habits.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
contributes a great deal to person’s tension. The competition in the employment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high, that most workers either spend the entire day at the office or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home without getting any time to relax.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eat more junk food nowadays as compared to our parent’s generation which
further
increases the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick.
For example
, the average number of hours employer spends at a job is 60 per week compared to 35 in the past.

The problems caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
can
be solved
by having a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should have a timetable, which includes time for employment, family and friends, which they should follow in order to lead a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They should
also
monitor what they eat and should increase the amount of vegetables and proteins
instead
of the fatty, oily food they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
outside. To illustrate, a recent study published by Harvard University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the number one cause of serious diseases like diabetes and hypertension is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
, tension related diseases have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has become more exhausting. The two main reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
burden and unhealthy eating. The solutions to overcome these problems are twofold:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
balance and healthy diet.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Describe a city or town where you have lived. Explain why this place is either a good place or not a good place to live. Include details and examples in your explanations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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