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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.11

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 11
In recent days, the unemployment has begun to play a major role in the country. In this essay, let us discuss about the various causes and some possible solutions to reduce this situation in the upcoming days. Firstly, the overpopulation is one of the major causes for unemployment, that has resulted in the construction of uncountable colleges all over the country. Every year, more than 4 lakh people graduate from universities of which nearly one lakh people get into a job of their interest and a few thousand people adapt themselves with the firm that has chosen them. Also, the technological development has greatly reduced the requirement of manpower in an industry. Alternatively, the rivalry increases for the available limited opportunity, reminding us of Darwin's 'Survival of the Fittest' theory. Secondly, once the students complete their high school, its their utmost responsibility to choose their career appropriately. Failing in this phase will have a serious consequences once they complete their graduation. A prior deep analysis has to be made regarding the scope of the subject and its future growth in that particular area. For example, one of my friends chose his undergraduate study in marine field that has a very low growth in his country. This resulted him with unemployment as he struggled to find a proper industry related to his field of study. By summarizing the above points, though the former problem of overpopulation is quite difficult to be handled by us, we can still be cautious in choosing the subject that will be the beginning of our future.
In recent days, the unemployment has begun to play a major role in the country. In this essay,
let
us
discuss about the
various causes and
some
possible solutions to
reduce
this situation in the upcoming days.

Firstly
, the overpopulation is one of the major causes for unemployment, that has resulted in the construction of uncountable colleges all over the country. Every year, more than 4 lakh
people
graduate from universities of which
nearly
one lakh
people
get
into a job of their interest and a few thousand
people
adapt themselves with the firm that has chosen them.
Also
, the technological development has
greatly
reduced
the requirement of manpower in an industry.
Alternatively
, the rivalry increases for the available limited opportunity, reminding us of Darwin's 'Survival of the Fittest' theory.

Secondly
, once the students complete their high school,
its
their utmost responsibility to choose their career
appropriately
. Failing in this phase will have a serious consequences once they complete their graduation. A prior deep analysis
has to
be made
regarding the scope of the subject and its future growth in that particular area.
For example
, one of my friends chose his undergraduate study in marine field that has a
very
low growth in his country. This resulted him with unemployment as he struggled to find a proper industry related to his field of study.

By summarizing the above points, though the former problem of overpopulation is quite difficult to
be handled
by us, we can
still
be cautious in choosing the subject that will be the beginning of our future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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