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Toefl Official Guide - Speaking 2: What kind of reading material, such as novels, magazines, or poetry, do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why you find this kind of reading material interesting. v.1

Toefl Official Guide - Speaking 2: What kind of reading material, such as novels, magazines, or poetry, do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why you find this kind of reading material interesting. v. 1
It is a common trend these days for the people being unaware about who lives next door. Most of the people do not know anyone in their building or community. This essay will first explain that a busy work-life is a primary reason behind this, followed by a probable solution. A person's work takes so much of his time these days that it leaves no room for him to bond with his neighbours. While some people have long working-hours, others have jobs at odd hours. Because of this, people hardly get any time for themselves, let alone to spend with someone living across the hall. This has led to the people being distant from one another and not develop a friendly community to live in. For example, people in New York City, who have lived at the same place for a decade, do not even know the names of their fellow tenants because they spend most of their day in their office. A viable solution to fix this issue is for apartment management to organize social events. Late night or weekend gatherings like a barbeque party, alcohol tasting party, board games etc. , can bring the tenants together. By this way, there will get to know one another and make friends, which in turn will increase the harmony of the community overall. Children will have a chance to play and adults can get involved in each others' job and personal life. This makes for a very tighter and close-knit group. To sum up, since most of the people these days have a crazy schedule at work, they lack the time to socialize where they live. This can be solved by throwing parties and gaming events which can force the people to come together.
It is a common trend these days for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being unaware about who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
next
door. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know anyone in their building or community. This essay will
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that a busy work-life is a primary reason behind this, followed by a probable solution.

A person's work takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of his time these days that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no room for him to bond with his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have long working-hours, others have jobs at odd hours.
Because of this
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any time for themselves,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone to spend with someone living across the hall. This has led to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being distant from one another and not develop a friendly community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in New York City, who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
at the same place for a decade, do not even know the names of their fellow tenants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend most of their day in their office.

A viable solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this issue is for apartment management to organize social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Late night or weekend gatherings like a
Possible spelling mistake found.
barbeque
party, alcohol tasting party, board games etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
can bring the tenants together. By this way, there will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know one another and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends, which in turn will increase the harmony of the community
overall
. Children will have a chance to play and adults can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in each
Did you mean "other's"?
others'
job and personal life. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tighter and close-knit group.

To sum up, since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days have a crazy schedule at work, they lack the time to socialize where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This can
be solved
by throwing parties and gaming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which can force the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Toefl Official Guide - Speaking 2: What kind of reading material, such as novels, magazines, or poetry, do you most like to read in your free time. Explain why you find this kind of reading material interesting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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