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q1. What game do you enjoy playing. Describe the game and say why you enjoy to play this game. v.1

q1. What game do you enjoy playing. Describe the game and say why you enjoy to play this game. v. 1
Nowadays, many couples are willing to prepare pregnancy not the same ages as the old days. In the following paragraphs, there are several reasons to examine this situation in depth. In addition, there are influences might be happened to the families. The main reason for postponing pregnancy is that most of people get married later than before. In the past, adults got married at the ages of 25, and it was quite late if you hadn't had a husband or a wife until 30 years old. Take my friend Jane, for example, she married my father while she was 32 years old, while her sisters all had husbands at the ages of 23. However, in the society now civilian are ready to have a family after 30. Therefore, they may pregnant around 35, which is 10 years later than our parents' generation. Besides, young couples now more care about their careers than pregnancy. Some of them said, they haven't prepared to take the responsibilities to be parents. Nonetheless, the advantages for being parents later than before is that the baby is expected for the family. Furthermore, the family has abilities to handle the expenses. Therefore, the children could have a better growing environment. By contrast, the disadvantages are the dangers for the mature women pregnant. Moreover, it is a challenge for older adults to take care babies as well, which needs healthy and strong bodies. To conclude, there is not to say that having kids in their later ages is totally without merit. Nevertheless, the parents need to take the challenges and well prepared their health for their energetic children.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples are willing to prepare pregnancy not the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
as the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days. In the following paragraphs, there are several reasons to examine this situation in depth.
In addition
, there are influences might
be happened
to the families.

The main reason for postponing pregnancy is that most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In the past, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 25, and it was quite late if you hadn't had a husband or a wife until 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Take my friend Jane,
for example
, she married my father while she was 32 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, while her sisters all had husbands at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
of 23.
However
, in the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
civilian are ready to have a family after 30.
Therefore
, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
may pregnant
around 35, which is 10 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
than our parents' generation.
Besides
, young couples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
more care about their careers than pregnancy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them said, they haven't prepared to take the responsibilities to be parents.

Nonetheless, the advantages for being parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
is that the baby is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
for the family.
Furthermore
, the family has abilities to handle the expenses.
Therefore
, the children could have a better growing environment. By contrast, the disadvantages are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
for the mature women pregnant.
Moreover
, it is a challenge for older adults to take care babies
as well
, which needs healthy and strong bodies.

To conclude
, there is not to say that having kids in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
is
totally
without merit.
Nevertheless
, the parents need to take the challenges and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
their health for their energetic children.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay q1. What game do you enjoy playing. Describe the game and say why you enjoy to play this game. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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