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Describe a game or sport you enjoy playing. You should say: •What kind of sport it is•Who you play it with•Where you play it•And explain why you enjoy playing it v.1

Describe a game or sport you enjoy playing. You should say: •What kind of sport it is•Who you play it with•Where you play it•And explain why you enjoy playing it v. 1
Education is the most important part of one’s self grooming and they are great role towards economic progress. School is the starting point of children education and personal intellectual development. Similarly, Private institutes are getting stronger in their number as compared to the government schools. In my opinion, government funding should not be provided to the private schools. This point is further explained technically and logically in further explanation. In the definition of technical logic behind, not providing funds to the private institute is because they are already getting a lot of money from parents of their students in the form of admission fees, monthly allowance for small kids, their academic test session fees, sport activity funds and many more, for example, Private school like DPS, offer a wide range of facilities but it all comes with the great amount of money they received from parents. Similarly, this also involves laboratory studies of the students. So, they don’t need any further donations from government. The second point is logically explanation and that is government schools lacks in a lot of facilities, for example, sitting, eating, laboratory and many more. So, most of the financial help requires at this sector. While private schools have a lot of canteens, good sitting space available for the students as well as for the any upcoming visitors. So last but not the least, funding is the right of government schools for most of the society needs, but giving little help to private schools will help them, adding little help to students to add their health checkups which should be considered.
Education is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of one’s self
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grooming and
they
Please check whether an article is missing: "are a great" or "are an great"
are great
role towards economic progress.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
is the starting point of children education and personal intellectual development.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
institutes are getting stronger in their number as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding should not
be provided
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This point is
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
technically
and
logically
in
further
explanation.

In the definition of technical logic behind, not providing funds to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institute is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are already getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money from parents of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the form of admission fees, monthly allowance for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kids, their academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
session fees, sport activity funds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
like DPS, offer a wide range of facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with the great amount of money they received from parents.
Similarly
, this
also
involves laboratory studies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they don’t need any
further
donations from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

The second point is
logically
explanation and
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
lacks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
facilities,
for example
, sitting, eating, laboratory and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, most of the financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
requires at this sector. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
canteens,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sitting space available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
as for the any upcoming visitors.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, funding is the right of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
for most of the society needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them, adding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
their health checkups which should
be considered
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Describe a game or sport you enjoy playing. You should say: •What kind of sport it is•Who you play it with•Where you play it•And explain why you enjoy playing it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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