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Q1 If you had an entire month to do whatever you would like to do, what would it be? Include details and examples to support your answer. v.1

Q1 If you had an entire month to do whatever you would like to do, what would it be? Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Many countries make a huge investment in art, believing that art is very crucial and conducive to human growth in various aspects. However, some people argue that the money might have been better spent on developing health and education rather than art. In this article, I will deal with both sides and add my thought on them. On the one hand, the most important factor which many countries want to invest a huge public fund in art is that it is very influential and decisive subject or form in people’s mental and emotional development. As a result, many nations seem to prioritize the investment in art since they believe that investing in art will be the most efficient way to spend the public money for the people’s benefit. In addition to this, the people’s creativeness which is frequently picked to determine the nation’s competitiveness is largely affected by the extent of the nation’s investment in art. Thus, it is still meaningful investment in art for the public’s welfare. On the other hand, some people insist that the public fund should be invested in reforming health and education since these fields are the most effective areas in people’s mental and physical development. In particular, the public money spent in enhancing health and education is contributing to more people’s benefit as some people who are not financially abundant are strictly restricted by the fee that people have to pay in order to enjoy the art exhibition or performance. Hence, the money invested in art is not fully dedicated in the public’s developments and it might be misused for the benefit of the haves. In conclusion. I oppose the idea that the money should be spent for only making those heath and education sectors better as art should be recognized for its importance and dedication for the human development. People should make an effort to put more resource on building a better environment for art.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial and conducive to human growth in various aspects.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
might have been better spent on developing health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. In this article, I will deal with both sides and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
on them.

On the one hand, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries want to invest a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
fund in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential and decisive subject or form in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental and emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations seem to prioritize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
since they believe that investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will be the most efficient way to spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
benefit.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
creativeness which is
frequently
picked to determine the nation’s competitiveness is
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the extent of the nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Thus
, it is
still
meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public’s
welfare.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
fund should
be invested
in reforming health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
since these fields are the most effective areas in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
In particular
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent in enhancing health and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is contributing to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
benefit as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not
financially
abundant are
strictly
restricted by the fee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay in order to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibition or performance.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
invested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not
fully
dedicated in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
and it might
be misused
for the benefit of the haves.

In conclusion
. I oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
making those heath and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sectors better as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should
be recognized
for its importance and dedication for the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to put more resource on building a better environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Q1 If you had an entire month to do whatever you would like to do, what would it be? Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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