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Which is better for students’ education: 9-month study and 3-month break or 3-month study and 1-month break? v.1

Which is better for students’ education: 9-month study and 3-month break or 3-month study and 1-month break? v. 1
The drastic capability of atoms is flourishing by the improvements. Despite the dangers, and risks, the utility of a nuclear technology clearly outweighs any drawbacks. This, I feel, is a valid point, and there are two reasons for the said advantages. To embark on, the asserting of a nuclear plant is quite impressive to use these days. The possession of its technology is having more beneficial for two reasons: infinite energy source and nature environmentally friendly. Firstly, Atom particles are colliding constantly to an infinitude. Producing endless energy, radioactive particles takes the lead in the context of renewable source of power. Take, for example, the use of electricity, machines, and warfare equipment are fueled by the reactor and according to the World Health Organization (WHO), Neutron Factory is currently the most efficient power plant in the history of mankind since the very earliest atomic bomb was blasted decades ago. Actually, only 3% of the world has operated the power plant and the rest 98% of them were coal, geothermal and solar radiation. Secondly, waste products were disposed appropriately in accordance to the standard protocol and the government is ensuring the public safety of this hazardous material not to contaminate the environment. For instance, if the toxic fumes has dispersed rapidly into the air, an automatic chemical spray is released to counteract the deleterious compounds of the gas; Thereby, International Standard Organization (ISO) has granted certificates to the nation who operates Nuclear plantation. To recapitulate, the massive menace of nuclear energy is drastically affected by the modern society, Yet, I believe the notion that it has more positive impact than its drawback.
The drastic capability of atoms is flourishing by the improvements. Despite the
dangers
, and
risks
, the utility of a nuclear technology
clearly
outweighs any drawbacks. This, I feel, is a valid point, and there are two reasons for the said advantages.

To embark on, the asserting of a nuclear plant is quite impressive to
use
these days. The possession of its technology is having more beneficial for two reasons: infinite energy source and nature
environmentally
friendly.
Firstly
, Atom particles are colliding
constantly
to an infinitude. Producing endless energy, radioactive particles takes the lead in the context of renewable source of power. Take,
for example
, the
use
of electricity, machines, and warfare equipment
are fueled
by the reactor and according to the World Health Organization (WHO), Neutron Factory is
currently
the most efficient power plant in the history of mankind since the
very
earliest atomic bomb
was blasted
decades ago. Actually,
only
3% of the world has operated the power plant and the rest 98% of them were coal, geothermal and solar radiation.

Secondly
, waste products
were disposed
appropriately
in accordance to the standard protocol and the
government
is ensuring the public safety of this hazardous material not to contaminate the environment.
For instance
, if the toxic fumes has dispersed
rapidly
into the air, an automatic chemical spray
is released
to counteract the deleterious compounds of the gas; Thereby, International Standard Organization (ISO) has granted certificates to the nation who operates Nuclear plantation.

To recapitulate, the massive menace of nuclear energy is
drastically
affected
by the modern society,
Yet
, I believe the notion that it has more
positive
impact than its drawback.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Which is better for students’ education: 9-month study and 3-month break or 3-month study and 1-month break? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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