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Q1: Discuss how your generation is different from the generation that preceded. Include reasons and details to support your answer. v.1

Q1: Discuss how your generation is different from the generation that preceded. Include reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1
It is true that some people argue that the importance of tourism role is emerging as a source of income in several countries. However, its drawbacks should not be neglected. I firmly agree with this statement and this essay will support my opinion providing some examples. On the one hand, tourism is considered the most profitable source of nowadays society. Firstly, it provides a high amount of income for many countries. For example, in some countries, such as Italy and Spain, it contributes to nearly a quarter of the total national GPD, and its total absence could affect dramatically on the entire national economy since it provides a various number of different jobs. Secondly, it brings a wide range of benefit which countries can exploit from them. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks that should not be underestimated and it might overweight the benefits. One downside is that an enormous flux of tourism in a certain country can cause a slowly disappearance of some native culture. For example, in some cities of Brazil, people prefer to adapt more on stronger culture instead of preserving the one of their ancestors, this is happening in all countries around the world due the process called globalization and it caused a reduction of authenticity. Furthermore, it can cause indirectly on the environment. A major flux of visitors involves an excessive use of trash and fossil fuel and it may lead to an environmental disaster and a destruction by native people of their own environment. For instance, In China, people tend to reduce the area of forests in order to build new attractions for new potential visitors since preserving it is considered unprofitable. In conclusion, Tourism role in our society is becoming vital for its economical importance. As far as I am concerned, its disadvantages should not be underestimated in order to preserve firstly our environment and secondly to let it be exploitable for the future.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
role is emerging as a source of income in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, its drawbacks should not
be neglected
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will support my opinion providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is considered
the most profitable source of nowadays society.
Firstly
, it provides a high amount of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as Italy and Spain, it contributes to
nearly
a quarter of the total national
Possible spelling mistake found.
GPD
, and its total absence could affect
dramatically
on the entire national economy since it provides a various number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
jobs.
Secondly
, it brings a wide range of benefit which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can exploit from them.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that should not
be underestimated
and it might overweight the benefits. One downside is that an enormous flux of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can cause a
You used an adverb ('slowly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('disappearance') instead of another adjective.
slowly disappearance
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
native culture.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities of Brazil,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to adapt more on stronger culture
instead
of preserving the one of their ancestors, this is happening in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world due the process called globalization and it caused a reduction of authenticity.
Furthermore
, it can cause
indirectly
on the environment. A major flux of visitors involves an excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of trash and fossil fuel and it may lead to an environmental disaster and a destruction by native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
environment.
For instance
, In China,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the area of forests in order to build new attractions for new potential visitors since preserving it
is considered
unprofitable.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
role in our society is becoming vital for its economical importance. As far as I
am concerned
, its disadvantages should not
be underestimated
in order to preserve
firstly
our environment and
secondly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it be exploitable for the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Q1: Discuss how your generation is different from the generation that preceded. Include reasons and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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