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Most people identify with a particular generation What are the qualities or characteristics that define your generation Use details and examples to support your explanation v.1

Most people identify with a particular generation What are the qualities or characteristics that define your generation Use details and examples to support your explanation v. 1
Every phase of human life has its own pros and cons, it ranges from childhood, teenage, middle age and at last, old age. Few people feel satisfied at the time of middle age, while some still lounge for their childhood period. I am young girl of twenty-two years, who has crossed her teenage and is heading towards her adulthood. My generation has two main characteristics, which makes it unique from all other life phases, and I will be explaining these in the following essay. First of all, this generation is considered as the building block of our life and every person, presently in this stage of adulthood, is expected to work hard for his career. People of this age group have to train themselves to be disciplined and oriented towards their goal. Ultimately, we are supposed to earn a living for ourselves and our family, so we have to become financially independent before we enter in our middle age. My own life experience is a compelling example of this. I will be completing my last year in my University, and before this I have to make sure that I have my very own financial support. I have to pursue my post-graduation in USA and I have to earn enough money and should have that much resources that can help me keep body and soul together there. If I will not train myself to be disciplined, my career will be destroyed and consequently, it will affect my earning and job positions at the end. Secondly, this adulthood is generalized as a phase where we learn the actual meaning of life and furthermore, the understanding of human nature. As we enter this stage, we meet new friends, some students even start doing jobs and most importantly, it depicts a transition from school to University. We lose the innocence inside us, and become more mature, start thinking of our benefits and learn what are basic priorities are. For example, when I entered to my University from high-school, I was still immature. But this new environment opened my eyes and started taking part in many activities. I did some internships and organised some events, and in this time period I met many new people. I made some really nice friends while I got betrayed by some. Some of my peers tried to pull me down by grabbing my own-hard earned opportunity, while some supported me in my fights. All this made me intelligent and my immaturity disappeared, now I have a better idea of which of my mates are going to cheat me. To sum up, adulthood, of which I am part of currently, is a combination of childhood and middle age. The qualities that define this phase are being focused towards our career and a stage, where we get the actual meaning of our life.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons, it ranges from childhood, teenage,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and at last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel satisfied at the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
lounge for their childhood period. I
Please check whether an article is missing: "am a young" or "am an young"
am young
girl of twenty-two years, who has crossed her teenage and is heading towards her adulthood. My generation has two main characteristics, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it unique from all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phases
, and I will be explaining these in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this generation
is considered
as the building block of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and every person,
presently
in this stage of adulthood, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for his career.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
train themselves to
be disciplined
and oriented towards their goal.
Ultimately
, we
are supposed
to earn a living for ourselves and our family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
become
financially
independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we enter in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience is a compelling example of this. I will be completing my last year in my University, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that I have my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial support. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pursue my post-graduation
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money and should have that
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
resources that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
body and soul together there. If I
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will not train
myself to
be disciplined
, my career will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and
consequently
, it will affect my earning and job positions at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Secondly
, this adulthood
is generalized
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
where we learn the actual meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
furthermore
, the understanding of human nature. As we enter this stage, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing jobs and most
importantly
, it depicts a transition from school to University. We lose the innocence inside us, and become more mature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking of our benefits and learn what are basic priorities are.
For example
, when I entered to my University from high-school, I was
still
immature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this new environment opened my eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
taking part in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities. I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
internships and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, and in this time period I met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
nice friends while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
betrayed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of my peers tried to pull me down by grabbing my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
earned opportunity, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supported me in my fights. All this made me intelligent and my immaturity disappeared,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I have a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of which of my mates are going to cheat me.

To sum up, adulthood, of which I am part of
currently
, is a combination of childhood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. The qualities that define this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phase
are
being focused
towards our career and a stage, where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the actual meaning of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Most people identify with a particular generation What are the qualities or characteristics that define your generation Use details and examples to support your explanation v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
472 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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