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Q5. 15 The man's car broke down and he is not able to drive his friends to visitthe National Science Museum. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v.1

Q5. 15 The man's car broke down and he is not able to drive his friends to visitthe National Science Museum. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1
Most parents are solicitous about their child's behaviour, activities and lifestyle, but have different opinions about the ways of upbringing their children. While some people opine that they should always keep a close check on their children's activities, others think that they should not do so and let children do things independently. This essay will juxtapose both these views, and finally conclude with my opinion. If parents take a keen interest in their minor's life, they can guide them better. Owing to the experience they have, they can help them in distinguishing between the right and the wrong and as a result, children would potentially make better life decisions. Consequently, better communication can be made and this can improve the bond between them. For instance, in India, most parents help and guide their offspring in their studies, which help children excel and get good grades. Hence, Indian pupils are more intellectual than any other student around the world. On the flip side, some progenitors believe the giving freedom in various aspects are crucial. They believe that experience is the best teacher and their offspring can learn more by trying things themselves than they teaching them. Additionally, if parents nag their child all the times, they would eventually stop listening to them or take advice from them, which would detrimentally affect their relationship with them. A recent research concluded that children who are always guided by their parents during their childhood, become less independent in the future than those who start taking their own decisions from a young age. In conclusion, some individuals feel that it is necessary to guide their children during various phases of their lives, however, I completely agree with the idea of people who think that they should be given a certain amount of independence to choose the right things for themselves as the new generation has a different thought process and they should be allowed to make their decisions conventionally rather than following the feudal ways.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are solicitous about their child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, activities and lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the ways of upbringing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that they should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on their children's activities, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should not do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do things
independently
. This essay will juxtapose both these views, and
finally
conclude with my opinion.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take a keen interest in their minor's life, they can guide them better. Owing to the experience they have, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in distinguishing between the right and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better life decisions.
Consequently
, better communication can
be made
and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the bond between them.
For instance
, in India, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and guide their offspring in their studies, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
excel and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
Hence
, Indian pupils are more intellectual than any other student around the world.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
progenitors believe the giving freedom in various aspects are crucial. They believe that experience is the best teacher and their offspring can learn more by trying things themselves than
Did you mean "they're teaching", "they are teaching", or "they were teaching"?
they teaching
them.
Additionally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
nag their child all the times, they would
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
listening to them or take advice from them, which would
detrimentally
affect their relationship with them. A recent research concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are always guided by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during their childhood, become less independent in the future than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions from a young age.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals feel that it is necessary to guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during various phases of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a certain amount of independence to choose the right things for themselves as the new generation has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
process and
they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions
conventionally
rather
than following the feudal ways.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Q5. 15 The man's car broke down and he is not able to drive his friends to visitthe National Science Museum. The two people talk about the man's problem. Describe the problem and state which of the two solutions you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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