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Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents’ generation? v.3

Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents’ generation? v. 3
Man, through the ages, has undergone many changes from the time he depicted a herd of mammoths on the walls of his cave to these days when he can use personal computers to create a new pattern for his carpet, send e-mail to his friend and even make him a cup of coffee without leaving his chair. There is no doubt that every generation is different in many ways from the old ones. In the following paragraphs, I will list some differences which I believe exist between my generation and my parents' generation. First of all, I think that my generation is more familiar with the modern technology than my parents' generation. For example, my mother learned from me about the Internet. I was the first person to explain to my parents what the Internet is and how to use it. Second of all, people of my generation have different interests and different opinions about many things. For example, my parents and I have different views about the decision made by the government. My mother thinks that more money should be spent on books and libraries for the children, and I think that more money should be spent on computer technologies. Finally, I think that people of my generation tend to forget many traditions and customs of the country they were born in. We often forget about the meaning of the holidays our parents celebrate. I cannot say that it is wrong I just think it is normal when recent historical events are celebrated with more enthusiasm. However, I believe that all people should remember their history and pass it down to the next generation because this knowledge is irreplaceable and priceless for every person. To sum up, there is no doubt that next generation is always better prepared for the future than the old one, and this means that our children will also be more experienced than we do now. And I think it is for the best.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
, through the ages, has undergone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from the time he depicted a herd of mammoths on the walls of his cave to these days when he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal computers to create a new pattern for his carpet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
e-mail to his friend and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a cup of coffee without leaving his chair. There is no doubt that every generation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones. In the following paragraphs, I will list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences which I believe exist between my generation and my parents' generation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that my generation is more familiar with the modern technology than my parents' generation.
For example
, my mother learned from me about the Internet. I was the
first
person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to my parents what the Internet is and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

Second of all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of my generation have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
interests and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinions about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
For example
, my parents and I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views about the decision made by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. My mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
that more money should
be spent
on books and libraries for the children, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that more money should
be spent
on computer technologies.

Finally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of my generation tend to forget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traditions and customs of the country they
were born
in. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget about the meaning of the holidays our parents celebrate. I cannot say that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is normal when recent historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are celebrated
with more enthusiasm.
However
, I believe that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should remember their history and pass it down to the
next
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this knowledge is irreplaceable and priceless for every person.

To sum up, there is no doubt that
next
generation is always better prepared for the future than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one, and this means that our children will
also
be more experienced than we do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is for the best.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents’ generation? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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