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q1 Describe a moment or obstacle you had to overcome. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

q1 Describe a moment or obstacle you had to overcome. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
It is commonly believed that art occupies a significant part in worldwide culture. Meanwhile, nowadays, a great number of people tend to focus on business, scientific or technological fields rather than on artistic production. In this essay, I will consider the reasons behind it and what actions can be taken in order to handle it. The main reason of the lost interest towards pieces of art is the modern worldwide economic crisis, which leads to social and health implications throughout the globe. Thus, it is appeared that basic needs such as safety, accommodation, food and health care is not satisfied in many parts of the world. Even the developed countries are not able to provide an adequate health care system and cover basic needs for each one citizen. Thus, especially, today in the time of pandemic the world faces the enormous demand in new vaccines and medicines as well as technologies. Consequently, personal initiatives as well as businesses turned to high-tech and academic research, as they are very perspective fields. However, there are some measures can be applied to the increasing of the public involvement in artistic production. Firstly, the government should address the issues related to basic life requirements and as the situation improves, people will be naturally driven to objects of art because the creation in a form of painting or musical composition is an expression of human nature. In addition, it is feasible to allocate some funds to museums and galleries in order to organize free excursions as well as workshops for schoolchildren and adult enthusiasts. Thus, beholding famous works of art and learning how to depict and create themselves, people will be able to incorporate art in their daily lives. In conclusion, one of the fundamental reasons of decreasing of public interest in artistic works is the global social and economic crisis and the key to improving the trend is increasing the level of life for the population. As a result, having everything needed people will naturally turn into depiction and creation.
It is
commonly
believed that
art
occupies a significant part in worldwide culture. Meanwhile, nowadays, a great number of
people
tend to focus on business, scientific or technological fields
rather
than on artistic production. In this essay, I will consider the reasons behind it and what actions can
be taken
in order to handle it.

The main reason of the lost interest towards pieces of
art
is the modern worldwide economic crisis, which leads to social and health implications throughout the globe.
Thus
, it
is appeared
that basic needs such as safety, accommodation, food and health care is not satisfied in
many
parts of the world. Even the
developed countries
are not able to provide an adequate health care system and cover basic needs for each one citizen.
Thus
,
especially
,
today
in the time of pandemic the world faces the enormous demand in new vaccines and medicines
as well
as technologies.
Consequently
, personal initiatives
as well
as businesses turned to high-tech and academic research, as they are
very
perspective fields.

However
, there are
some
measures can
be applied
to the increasing of the public involvement in artistic production.
Firstly
, the
government
should address the issues related to basic life requirements and as the situation
improves
,
people
will be
naturally
driven to objects of
art
because
the creation in a form of painting or musical composition is an expression of human nature.
In addition
, it is feasible to allocate
some
funds to museums and galleries in order to organize free excursions
as well
as workshops for schoolchildren and adult enthusiasts.
Thus
, beholding
famous
works of
art
and learning how to depict and create themselves,
people
will be able to incorporate
art
in their daily
lives
.

In conclusion
, one of the fundamental reasons of decreasing of public interest in artistic works is the global social and economic crisis and the key to improving the trend is increasing the level of life for the population.
As a result
, having everything needed
people
will
naturally
turn into depiction and creation.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay q1 Describe a moment or obstacle you had to overcome. Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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