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talk about a difficulty you have overcome in your life. describe the experience any say why it was difficult to overcome. v.1

talk about a difficulty you have overcome in your life. describe the experience any say why it was difficult to overcome. v. 1
In today’s changing world of media and communication, everybody gets all kinds of information through newspapers and other sources of the media. People take a keen interest in the personal and professional life of celebrities, politicians and other public figures. However, conflicting views arise about the excessive media coverage of individuals. Some find it acceptable while others are against it. In this essay, we will discuss both the views. On one hand, publishing news about artists and politicians is good for their fans and followers. As the youths today consider cricketers, politicians and actors as their role models, getting a glimpse of their personal life is not harmful in any way. The difference between an artists’ reel and real behaviour can be depicted through media and news. In fact, we get to know about a political leader’s social activity through the media which helps us decide whether that politician is capable to rule or not. Other the other hand, the public should not forget that celebrities and politicians are also human beings who deserve some privacy. Besides invading on people’s privacy can lead to insecurity in their life. As many public figures have opponents and enemies, publishing private information in newspapers can have detrimental effects on their career. The overall productivity of the celebrities will increase when there is no such conflict. To sum up, privacy brings security, therefore, the media should not invade people’s privacy for entertaining or profitable purposes. In my perspective, privacy is one of the fundamental rights, and the government should control if the media publish any inappropriate information.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s changing world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and communication, everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
all kinds of information through newspapers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
take a keen interest in the personal and professional life of celebrities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
public figures.
However
, conflicting views arise about the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
find it acceptable while others are against it. In this essay, we will discuss both the views.

On one hand, publishing news about artists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their fans and followers. As the youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
consider cricketers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and actors as their role models, getting a glimpse of their personal life is not harmful in any way. The difference between an artists’ reel and real
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can
be depicted
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and news. In fact, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about a political leader’s social activity through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us decide whether that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politician
is capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
or not.

Other the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the public should not forget that celebrities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
are
also
human beings who deserve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
privacy.
Besides
invading on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s privacy can lead to insecurity in their life. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public figures have opponents and enemies, publishing private information in newspapers can have detrimental effects on their career. The
overall
productivity of the celebrities will increase when there is no such conflict.

To sum up, privacy brings security,
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not invade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s privacy for entertaining or profitable purposes. In my perspective, privacy is one of the fundamental rights, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
publish any inappropriate information.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay talk about a difficulty you have overcome in your life. describe the experience any say why it was difficult to overcome. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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