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Some people believe environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. v. 2
it is often argued that pollution and problems related to the ecosystem should be raised and resolved internationally, whilst others disagree and think it is a national issue to deal with the deterioration of nature. this essay will discuss both points of view. it is obvious that fighting for the development of nature is necessary. If an international body were appointed for this, it would be beneficial to many third world countries that cannot afford to include the restoration of the environment in their budget. it is therefore agreed that problems like climate change are better handled and funded at a global level. For instance, the world Health Organisation is an international body, funded by many countries, helps people in poor nations to overcome diseases. However, some disagree and feel that nations should be responsible and fight individually. They feel that the government of a nation knows better the country better than any global organization and thus can be more effective. Despite understanding, there is a risk of businessmen influencing the bureaucrats and get away with the regulations imposed. Whereas, an international body is not affiliated with any specific government and can perform efficiently. Numerous studies show that ruling parties in many countries are corrupted. there is also a fear that some countries might be neglected when handling many countries. But since there are representatives from each country there is less probability of sidelining any country. In conclusion, the benefits of dealing with environment problems at the international level outweigh that of at the national level. Hence, this essay agrees that a separate body created with the help of all countries can be more productive at making this world a better place.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that pollution and problems related to the ecosystem should
be raised
and resolved
internationally
, whilst others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a national issue to deal with the deterioration of nature.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will discuss both points of view.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is obvious that fighting for the development of nature is necessary. If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
were appointed
for this, it would be beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that cannot afford to include the restoration of the environment in their budget.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that problems like climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
handled and funded at a global level.
For instance
, the world Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, funded by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in poor nations to overcome diseases.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree and feel that nations should be responsible and fight
individually
. They feel that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a nation knows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than any global
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
and
thus
can be more effective. Despite understanding, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of businessmen influencing the bureaucrats and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away with the regulations imposed. Whereas, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is not affiliated with any specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and can perform
efficiently
. Numerous studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that ruling parties in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are corrupted
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is
also
a fear that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might
be neglected
when handling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
since there are representatives from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
there is less probability of sidelining any country.

In conclusion
, the benefits of dealing with environment problems at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
level outweigh that of at the national level.
Hence
, this essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that a separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
created with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can be more productive at making this world a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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