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Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally v. 3
There has been a steady rise in sales of restaurants and cafeterias along with food sources that are not time intensive. Although it might be convenient, but I see far greater problems caused due this growing trend and I am convinced that we must bring about changes to alter this permanently. There are some advantages of procuring food from shops and restaurants. It saves us a lot of time and since our fast-paced modern lifestyles are very hectic, many people find eating out to be ideal solution. Most of us would admit that after a long tiring day at work no one has any energy left to cook a hot meal. There is also no need to have or develop any culinary skills and neither do we have any free time available to pursue cooking at home as a habit. Since we do not inculcate cooking as a habit, we miss out on a number of advantages that home cooked food brings with it. Not only is home-cooked food cheaper and saves us lots of money, it is also much more nutritious than store bought food or meals cooked outside. The nutrition in home cooked food is found to be higher not only due to good quality ingredients used but also since there is no element of making profit involved in home-cooked meals. Many studies have shown that people who eat out regularly suffer long-term health consequences like Irritable Bowel Syndrome and other gastronomical complications. On the other hand, people who normally eat at home, get a balanced diet obtaining all necessary nutrients needed to keep our bodies and minds healthy. Looking at the above points, I would like to conclude by saying that even though it may cause us inconvenience; we must take out time to cook at home so that our bodies get better food, which will in turn help us maintain our health in the end. We must all remember that health is wealth and if we lose our health, no amount of wealth can bring it back.
There has been a steady rise in sales of restaurants and cafeterias along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
intensive. Although it might be convenient,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
far greater problems caused due this growing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend and
I
am convinced
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to alter this
permanently
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of procuring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from shops and restaurants. It saves us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and since our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced modern lifestyles are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hectic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find eating out to be ideal solution. Most of us would admit that after a long tiring day at work no one has any energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to cook a hot meal. There is
also
no need to have or develop any culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and neither do we have any free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available to pursue cooking at home as a habit.

Since we do not inculcate cooking as a habit, we miss out on a number of advantages that home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
brings with it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
cheaper and saves us lots of money, it is
also
much more nutritious than store
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or meals cooked outside. The nutrition in home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is found
to be higher not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality ingredients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
since there is no element of making profit involved in home-cooked meals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who eat out
regularly
suffer long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "like". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences like
Irritable Bowel Syndrome and other gastronomical complications.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
normally
eat at home,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a balanced diet obtaining all necessary nutrients needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our bodies and minds healthy.

Looking at the above points, I would like
to conclude
by saying that
even though
it may cause us inconvenience; we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our bodies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which will in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us maintain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
all remember that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is wealth and if we lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, no amount of wealth can bring it back.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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