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Families who do not send their children to public schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Families who do not send their children to public schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. v. 1
It has been argued that people who sponsor their children in private schools, should be exempted from taxation meant to support public schools and universal basic education. I my opinion, I strongly disagree with this view. Families whose children do not attend public school must continue to pay tax. This is necessary to support government in catering for the less privileged and poorer families as we live in and operate a socialist economy. While this ensures fairness and equity, it also makes the society safe and secure for all. For example, if the poor was denied education because the rich did not support public school through tax because he was not subscribing to them, the sons of the poor who could not afford education could turn to hooligans and terrorise the communities. Furthermore, taxes should be paid by all citizens to support public school because it is more cost effective. In fact, it is clear that if the public schools are functioning optimally, everybody will want to attend them including the rich because it is cheaper with more qualified teachers and other manpower. Conversely private schools are unnecessarily costly, employing cheap unqualified labour and extorting the communities. Public school needs just little more support from sources, such as taxes to give its best for everyone. For instance, public schools are fully funded through taxation in Ghana, and they have high standard such that private schools do not thrive there at all. To conclude, no tax exemption or concession on those whose children are not in public school in order to ensure basic education for all, standardize our government school and make a secure society.
It has
been argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who sponsor their children in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, should
be exempted
from taxation meant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universal basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I my opinion, I
strongly
disagree with this view.

Families whose children do not attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. This is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in catering for the less privileged and poorer families as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and operate a socialist economy. While this ensures fairness and equity, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the society safe and secure for all.
For example
, if the poor
was denied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the rich did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was not subscribing to them, the sons of the poor who could not afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could turn to hooligans and
Possible spelling mistake. 'terrorise' is British English.
terrorise
the communities.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
should
be paid
by all citizens to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more cost effective. In fact, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are functioning
optimally
, everybody will want to attend them including the rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper with more qualified teachers and other manpower.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Conversely
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
unnecessarily
costly, employing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
unqualified
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and extorting the communities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from sources, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to give its best for everyone.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
fully
funded through taxation in Ghana, and they have high standard such that private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not thrive there at all.

To conclude
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
exemption or concession on those whose children are not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to ensure basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for all, standardize our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a secure society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Families who do not send their children to public schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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