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Punishment is a good way to address the behavioural problem in children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Children are the bright future of a country and inculcating the ability to distinguish the variance between good and bad, deem them a successful career. Parents and teachers play a significant role in their upbringing and the techniques they apply to correct the children tend to be a matter of debate. Personally, I support the idea of penalizing children for their mistakes, and this essay will support my views will legible examples. Firstly, We all have witnessed, how the structured and smart penalties our elders imposed, provided us an opportunity to reconcile and reciprocate our corrective actions. In a survey, conducted by the government education wing, it was found that 90% of the children revealed and supported structured punishments, which not only developed their intellectual ability but also motivated them to keep incorrect things at bay. Secondly, Implementation of punishments must make one realize from their mistakes. Penalties must always be tough and thought-provoking which makes the children gain a decent level of maturity. Punishments develop discipline and must be similar to that normally implemented in the armed forces. Implementing such disciplinary measures will eventually turn the children into responsible citizens. Finally, as it says Failures are stepping stones to success apply to this essay, which reveals that mistakes in the early stages of life make one matured and wise the eventually help one to be successful.
Children
are the bright future of a country and inculcating the ability to distinguish the variance between
good
and
bad
, deem them a successful career. Parents and teachers play a significant role in their upbringing and the techniques they apply to correct the
children
tend to be a matter of debate.
Personally
, I support the
idea
of penalizing
children
for their mistakes, and this essay will support my views will legible examples.
Firstly
, We all have witnessed, how the structured and smart penalties our elders imposed, provided us an opportunity to reconcile and reciprocate our corrective actions. In a survey, conducted by the
government
education wing, it
was found
that 90% of the
children
revealed and supported structured punishments, which not
only
developed their intellectual ability
but
also
motivated them to
keep
incorrect things at bay.
Secondly
, Implementation of punishments
must
make
one realize from their mistakes. Penalties
must
always be tough and
thought
-provoking which
makes
the
children
gain a decent level of maturity. Punishments develop discipline and
must
be similar to that
normally
implemented in the armed forces. Implementing such disciplinary measures will
eventually
turn the
children
into responsible citizens.
Finally
, as it says Failures are stepping stones to success apply to this essay, which reveals that mistakes in the early stages of life
make
one matured and wise the
eventually
help
one to be successful.
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IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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