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Due the advancement in computer technology the trend of working from home will bring a dramatic change to people’s lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples. v.3

Due the advancement in computer technology the trend of working from home will bring a dramatic change to people’s lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples. v. 3
These days, the world is developing faster than before, and advanced technology has changed the planet since recent decades. In this regard, modern people are willing to work at home, as it offers convenient and comfortable for the employees. While some people believe that it can bring positive outcomes to the job market, others feel that due to working from household the greatest number of people cannot get the job-satisfaction. Personally, I believe that working through the internet is a positive trend. On the one hand, it is true that this trend can be a positive one. Due to digital technologies, there is no need to spend a lot of time in the buses and cabins in order to get the workplace. Furthermore, this tendency will give the employees, many opportunities such as flexible working hours, convenience and the chance to spend time with family. For instance, the average time for getting to the workplace is two hours. That is to say, many individuals are keen to waste their two hours every day, and working through the internet give the chance to not waste these hours. On the other hand, some people may accuse this tendency. They believe that if there is not face-to-face communication, consequently, the job-satisfaction will not be. Moreover, in many cases, some customers do not believe the internet commercial organizations because of the high risk of fraud. For instance, staying at home can negatively affect the employees, as working from household not give many possibilities to demonstrate the skills and abilities. In this case, many ambitious people can suffer from these trends. In conclusion, although many people believe that not visiting the workplace will affect the world negatively, personally, in my opinion, I believe that these changes have many advantages too. However, the most important thing is regulating these tendencies in the right direction.
These days, the world is developing faster than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, and advanced technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the planet since recent decades. In this regard, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to work at home, as it offers convenient and comfortable for the employees. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes to the job market, others feel that due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from household the greatest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job-satisfaction.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
through the internet is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.

On the one hand, it is true that this trend can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one. Due to digital technologies, there is no need to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in the buses and cabins in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the workplace.
Furthermore
, this tendency will give the employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities such as flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours, convenience and the chance to spend time with family.
For instance
, the average time for getting to the workplace is two hours.
That is
to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are keen to waste their two hours every day, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
through the internet give the chance to not waste these hours.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may accuse this tendency. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that if there is not face-to-face communication,
consequently
, the job-satisfaction will not be.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
customers do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the internet commercial organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of fraud.
For instance
, staying at home can
negatively
affect the employees, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from household not give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities to demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities.
In this case
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ambitious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can suffer from these trends.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that not visiting the workplace will affect the world
negatively
,
personally
, in my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages too.
However
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is regulating these tendencies in the right direction.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Due the advancement in computer technology the trend of working from home will bring a dramatic change to people’s lives. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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