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Public celebrations (festivals, national days) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Public celebrations (festivals, national days) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important things. v. 2
There is a controversy over the celebration of festivals. it is thought by some individuals that it is very expensive and the funds ought to be channelled to more pivotal items. I tend to disagree with this view and the reasons will be discussed in the essay. Some people argue that public celebrations are a waste of funds, instead, the state should rather make use of the currency on more crucial things. They belive that focus should be on the provision and maintenance of basic amenities such as housing, good power supply, clean environment, shelter, standardize hospital to be looked into, to ensure that members of the society are comfortable In addition, advocates of this group claim that the state ought to focus on the construction and expansion of the road thus making it accessible to members of the society. However, they are compelling reasons why I do believe that celebrations such as, festivals and national days are not quite expensive and it should be celebrated. Firstly, it is a strong indicator of respect of the culture, traditon and history. Thereby gives people the opportunity to understand and appreciate the importance of such ceremonies. Secondly, if unites the community members. For instance, 1st October, activities which includes matching, dancing, drama are performed by individuals putting on different attires representing various ethnic group. People from nearby countries come to enjoy such programmes, merry and celebrate with each others. . This therefore, creates strong relationships and bond among each other In conclusion, it is my convinced believe that spending on public celebrations is crucial because it creates an atmosphere for better understanding of the history, tradion and culture, it aso creates spirit of oneness among each others.
There is a controversy over the
celebration
of festivals.
it
is
thought
by
some
individuals that it is
very
expensive and the funds ought to
be channelled
to more pivotal items. I tend to disagree with this view and the reasons will
be discussed
in the essay.

Some
people
argue that public
celebrations
are a waste of funds,
instead
, the state should
rather
make
use
of the currency on more crucial things.
They belive
that focus should be on the provision and maintenance of basic amenities such as housing,
good
power supply, clean environment, shelter, standardize hospital to
be looked
into, to ensure that members of the society are
comfortable


In addition
, advocates of this group claim that the state ought to focus on the construction and expansion of the road
thus
making it accessible to members of the society.

However
, they are compelling reasons why I do believe that
celebrations
such as, festivals and national days are not quite expensive and it should
be celebrated
.
Firstly
, it is a strong indicator of respect of the culture,
traditon
and history. Thereby gives
people
the opportunity to understand and appreciate the importance of such ceremonies.

Secondly
, if unites the community members.
For instance
, 1st October, activities which includes matching, dancing, drama
are performed
by individuals putting on
different
attires representing various ethnic group.
People
from nearby countries
come
to enjoy such
programmes
, merry and celebrate with each
others
.
.
This
therefore
, creates strong relationships and bond among each
other


In conclusion
, it is my convinced believe that spending on public
celebrations
is crucial
because
it creates an atmosphere for better understanding of the history,
tradion
and culture, it
aso
creates spirit of oneness among each
others
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Public celebrations (festivals, national days) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important things. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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