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Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and examples according v.1

Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Give your reasons and examples according v. 1
Instead of spending money on roadways, authorities have to spend it on the railways. I totally agree with this opinion because the railways are budgeted option than roadways and inbuilt WC and refreshment facilities make it more convenient for all age groups of people. The main reason why I believe that the government should invest in the railways than roadways is that the railways are inexpensive, therefore, moving around the nation with a limited budget makes highly possible for poor and middle-class travellers. To illustrate, my husband and I had travelled Mumbai to Chandigarh for our honeymoon by train, saving on travelling had helped us to spend more on food, accommodation, and shopping, as we had a very limited budget. Another reason why I support the notion, that built-in WC and refreshment facilities allow more comfort for all age groups of people. For example, families with youngsters as well as elders can easily travel by train as it makes more convenient for them to use inbuilt WC and refreshment facilities whenever required without waiting for the vehicle to stop at an appropriate place. Additionally, it saves time and one can reach the destination faster. Whereas roadway travelers have to stop for fuel, food, and toilets and it consumes more time, hence it takes longer to reach the final destination. Finally, roadways have few other disadvantages for reaching late to the finishing line, like traffic congestion, bumpy and clumsy roads. In conclusion, I completely agree that the authorities ought to invest more in the railways instead of roadways. This is because the railways are comparatively reasonable than roads and much more convenient for all age groups of people. Given this situation, it seems that the government should keep aside some extra fund to invest in railways.
Instead
of spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
, authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend it on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are budgeted
option than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
and inbuilt WC and refreshment facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more convenient for all age groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The main reason why I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are inexpensive,
therefore
, moving around the nation with a limited budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
highly
possible for poor and middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. To illustrate, my husband and I had travelled Mumbai to Chandigarh for our honeymoon by train, saving on travelling had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to spend more on food, accommodation, and shopping, as we had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited budget.

Another reason why I support the notion, that built-in WC and refreshment facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more comfort for all age groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, families with youngsters
as well
as elders can
easily
travel by train as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
more convenient for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
inbuilt WC and refreshment facilities whenever required without waiting for the vehicle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
at an appropriate place.
Additionally
, it saves time and one can reach the destination faster. Whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadway
travelers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
for fuel, food, and toilets and it consumes more time,
hence
it takes longer to reach the final destination.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
have few other disadvantages for reaching late to the finishing line, like traffic congestion, bumpy and clumsy roads.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the authorities ought to invest more in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roadways
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are
comparatively
Use "(reasonable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
reasonable
than roads and much more convenient for all age groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it seems that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
aside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra fund to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Public celebrations (national days, festivals) are held in many countries. Some people say that these celebrations are a waste of money and we should spend money on more important things. Give your reasons and examples according v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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