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Psychological illness may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way Society however is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities the latter bei v.1

Psychological illness may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way Society however is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities the latter bei v. 1
These days popular sportsmen are earning a huge amount of money in terms of their fee for playing, the ads they are doing or by being the brand ambassador of famous brands. According to one school of thought, it is justified to earn more money by players while others believe that it is not fair for professionals from other fields. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the views and give my own opinion. On one hand, players have to work really very hard to make a mark for themselves. They are idols for the younger generation and thus are under too much pressure to succeed. They are famous and in demand only until they are performing well. As soon as their performance is not up to the mark, people no longer like them and they become just a name in the history. For instance, Vinod Kambli used to be a famous Indian opening batsman. Unless and until he was scoring centuries and was helping the team to win, he was getting a lot of money through advertisements and even his fee was very high. But as soon as he started performing poorly, he was out of the Indian cricket team. He lost both his popularity and money. This clearly indicates that the lives of sports people in terms of popularity are vulnerable and need a lot of hard work to maintain it. On the contrary, successful people in other fields also worked hard to reach the milestone. Even then they do not get what they deserve. They are not as famous and rich as sports persons are. For example, K. Sivan, who is the chief of the Indian Space Research Organisation, is a very successful scientist and has contributed a lot in India's success in its space programs, but still he is not very famous and is not even considered for being the brand ambassador. Even his pay is not high as compared to cricketers or other players. This is really unfair because people like K. Sivan deserves the appreciation of the country and its people and they should be given the same status as players of different sports. Eventually, it can be recapitulated that although famous individuals from different fields do work hard to be successful but still I feel that sportsmen are idolised by millions of people and in order to fulfil their expectations, they have to go beyond their limits to be there and thus deserve the extra money they are earning in comparison to other people.
These days popular sportsmen are earning a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in terms of their fee for playing, the ads they are doing or by being the brand ambassador of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
brands. According to one school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it
is justified
to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
while others believe that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
for professionals from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the views and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mark for themselves. They are idols for the younger generation and
thus
are under too much pressure to succeed. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and in demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
until they are performing well. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as their performance is not up to the mark,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a name in the history.
For instance
, Vinod
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kambli
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
Indian opening batsman. Unless and until he was scoring centuries and was helping the team to win, he was getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through advertisements and even his fee was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
performing
poorly
, he was out of the Indian cricket team. He lost both his popularity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This
clearly
indicates that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of popularity are vulnerable and need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work to maintain it.

On the contrary
, successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields
also
worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to reach the milestone. Even then they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what they deserve. They are not as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and rich as sports persons are.
For example
, K. Sivan, who is the chief of the Indian Space Research
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
, is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful scientist and has contributed a lot in India's success in its space programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
he is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and is not even considered for being the brand ambassador. Even his pay is not high as compared to cricketers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. This is
really
unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like K. Sivan deserves the appreciation of the country and its
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same status as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports.

Eventually
, it can
be recapitulated
that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
individuals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields do work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to be successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
I feel that sportsmen are
Possible spelling mistake. 'idolised' is British English.
idolised
by millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and in order to fulfil their expectations, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go beyond their limits to be there and
thus
deserve the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they are earning
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Psychological illness may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses Nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way Society however is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities the latter bei v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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