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How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v.1

How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1
The number of cars on British roads is continuously increasing. In addition to alternative commute modes being encouraged, global laws may be introduced to manage the number of vehicles on the roads. This essay will explain why encouraging alternative commute modes is imperative to reduce traffic numbers on British roads but why global governance may not be the best means of achieving this outcome. Mass transit modes must be promoted in order to reduce vehicle numbers. Public transport such as buses and trains are particularly important and people should be incentivized to use them. For example, local governments could subsidies the cost of public transit or even make it free so that people utilise it more frequently. Consequently the promotion of public transport, such as buses and trains, will help in significantly reducing the cars from British roads. International legislation is not the way to control car numbers because each country is different. Laws need to take into consideration the local realities of individual countries. For example, car control in Ghana will be very different to car number control in the US because the two countries have very different economies and infrastructure. Therefore, national laws or even local laws, as opposed to international laws would be much more effective at controlling vehicle numbers. This essay discussed how mass commute modes could be encouraged and the effectiveness of international legislation to decrease the number of cars on the roads. In my opinion, promoting alternative transport modes is essential; however legislating at the local or national level would be much more effective because it would be more nuanced.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is
continuously
increasing.
In addition
to alternative commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
being encouraged
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
may
be introduced
to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why encouraging alternative commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
is imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
on British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why global governance may not be the best means of achieving this outcome.

Mass transit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be promoted
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
. Public transport such as buses and trains are
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be incentivized
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could subsidies the cost of public transit or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it more
frequently
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
the promotion of public transport, such as buses and trains, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
significantly
reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
from British roads.

International legislation is not the way to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each country is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Laws
need to take into consideration the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
realities of individual countries.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
control in Ghana will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
control in the US
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the two countries have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
economies and infrastructure.
Therefore
, national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, as opposed to international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
would be much more effective at controlling vehicle numbers.

This essay discussed how mass commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
could
be encouraged
and the effectiveness of international legislation to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In my opinion, promoting alternative transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
is essential;
however
legislating at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
or national level would be much more effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be more nuanced.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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