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Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. to what extent do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example v.3

Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. 3
Exterminating poverty is one of the most important tasks of governments since not only does this means the misery of some people but it leads to crimes as well. While some believe this task is better done by distributing money, others think not only will not financial aid help them but it will eventually make the situation worse. I personally stand with the latter group due to several reasons which will be discussed in the following. To begin with, from my point of view financial help to the poor is just a waste of resources which could be invested at more beneficial matters. Governments should contribute a large proportion of their budget to give money to the poor do they want to deal with poverty this way. In other words, poverty is the sponge that will not be filled but by pile loads of money. Doubtlessly, this money could be invested at elsewhere, such as industries, which not only does it escalate economy but it aids the poor by offering them a job and salary. For instance, in Iran politicians decided to distribute money from budget to solve poverty. To this day poverty has not been solved and also after this decision each government has a new problem in providing the budget. Moreover, the matter of poverty will become worse if it is dealt with by financial aid. It can be stated that poor people will become lazier if they are given money because their financial needs are met by others. Thus, these lazy people will eventually become more poor since now they will not even try to solve their problems and poverty themselves. Granted what was said, it can not be considered a bad method to help some people financially. What I mean is if a person is disabled, because of the consequences of the war or diseases, he should not be left alone to suffer in poverty in addition to miseries he already has. Their condition is the result of their physical status which definitely is not the consequence of monetary acts. To sum up, I personally believe if one, person or government, wants to solve the poverty he should think of means other than simply financial help. That method will deteriorate the situation although his intentions are of utmost excellency. As the proverb says, do not give fish to the poor, teach them how to fish.
Exterminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
since not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does this
Did you mean "mean"?
means
the misery of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it leads to crimes
as well
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe this task is better done by distributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse. I
personally
stand with the latter group due to several reasons which will
be discussed
in the following.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, from my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of resources which could
be invested
at more beneficial matters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should contribute a large proportion of their budget to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
do they want to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
this way. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is the sponge that will not
be filled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by pile loads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Doubtlessly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
be invested
at elsewhere, such as industries, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it escalate economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it aids the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
by offering them a job and salary.
For instance
, in Iran politicians decided to distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from budget to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. To this day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
has not
been solved
and
also
after this decision each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has a new problem in providing the budget.

Moreover
, the matter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
will become worse if it
is dealt
with by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
aid. It can
be stated
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become lazier if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
needs
are met
by others.
Thus
, these lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
eventually
become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they will not even try to solve their problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
themselves.

Granted what
was said
, it can not
be considered
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
method to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
financially
. What I mean is if a person
is disabled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the consequences of the war or diseases, he should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone to suffer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in addition
to miseries he already has. Their condition is the result of their physical status which definitely is not the consequence of monetary acts.

To sum up, I
personally
believe if one, person or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, wants to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. That method will deteriorate the situation although his intentions are of utmost excellency. As the proverb says, do not give fish to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, teach them how to fish.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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