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Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v.10

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 10
It is considered by some that bosses ought to provide extended holidays to their workforce in order to perform their duties efficiently. This essay agrees with this assertion as vacations help to elevate productivity of a person and also aids to maintain a good work-life balance. To begin with, holidays play a crucial role in increasing the creativity of the office staff. Working for longer duration in the office actually hampers the productivity of an employee because one hardly gets any time off to rejuvenate their mind and soul. Taking a couple of days off from work can help the workforce to alleviate their stress levels which would eventually ameliorate their fertility at work. Numerous companies, for instance, such as JustPark and Linkedin have recently introduced unlimited holiday policy to their staffs recently which has significantly improved the efficiency of these companies. In addition to this, vacations are essential to maintain a good work-life balance in today’s face paced world. Everyone either a CEO or a junior level worker wants to spend some quality time with their friends and family. Taking extended holidays not only improves the personal lives of the employees, but also boosts an employee’s job satisfaction level. As an example, staff members who have a hectic work schedule and do not have much time to make social interactions will start to look down upon their jobs. As a consequence, the job satisfaction will diminish and the corporation’s efficiency will be affected adversely in the long run. Therefore, longer holiday policy is cardinal to maintain a high sense of job satisfaction among the employees. To conclude, employers must encourage extended holiday scheme for their staff because it will increase the productiveness of the personnel as well as improved sense of work satisfaction which is a win- win state for both the bosses and the workers.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that bosses ought to provide extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to their workforce in order to perform their duties
efficiently
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this assertion as vacations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to elevate productivity of a person and
also
aids to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
play a crucial role in increasing the creativity of the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
. Working for longer duration in the office actually hampers the productivity of an employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
any time off to rejuvenate their mind and soul. Taking a couple of days off from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the workforce to alleviate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels which would
eventually
ameliorate their fertility at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
for instance
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
JustPark
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkedin
have recently introduced unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
policy to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staffs
recently which has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the efficiency of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In addition
to this, vacations are essential to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work-life balance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s face paced world. Everyone
A verb is probably missing after 'either'.
either a
CEO or a junior level worker wants to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time with their friends and family. Taking extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boosts an employee’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
level. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
members who have a hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule and do not have much time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
social interactions will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to look down upon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will diminish and the corporation’s efficiency will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
in the long run.
Therefore
, longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
policy is cardinal to maintain a high sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
among the employees.

To conclude
, employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
scheme for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will increase the productiveness of the personnel
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
which is a win- win state for both the bosses and the workers.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to do their job well. Do you agree? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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