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Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. to what extent do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example v.2

Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. 2
It goes without doubting that people want to have a fair sheath tone as they find it attractive and astonishing. Hence, in the several areas of the globe contain a profitable item that makes a people's dream come true. This essay will discuss the major cause of using those compound creams and secondly, discuss the detrimental impact on people's health and community. On the one hand, the prime reason of trying fairness cream is that it provides a beautiful look and using this good look, people can try on Bollywood or Hollywood film industries. This would gain them a fame and a huge amount of money to live a quality life. For example, as per the photography companies, 80% of the models have a white sheath tone that general public urge to watch. On the other hand, firstly, this type of cream mainly causes a sheath cancer if used extensively. Owning to the fact that this cream is made up of diverting chemicals that have the adverse effect on the body and society as well. Secondly, present users might influence the further descendants and this would result in the increase number of cancer patients around the globe. For an instance, according to the cancer department of the USA, 90% of the skin cancers are reported because of using this products. In conclusion, lighting creams indeed allot an individual a chance of being renewed in the globe. But, to their health is in the perfect condition then only it is worth to use, otherwise it is considered as an investment in declining life span of the civilian.
It goes without doubting that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
sheath tone as they find it attractive and astonishing.
Hence
, in the several areas of the globe contain a profitable item that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true. This essay will discuss the major cause of using those compound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creams
and
secondly
, discuss the detrimental impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and community.

On the one hand, the prime reason of trying fairness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
is that it provides a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
look and using this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can try on Bollywood or Hollywood film industries. This would gain them a fame and a huge amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a quality life.
For example
, as per the photography
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, 80% of the models have a white sheath tone that
Consider using "public".
general public
urge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

On the other hand
,
firstly
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
mainly
causes a sheath
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
extensively
. Owning to the fact that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cream
is made
up of diverting chemicals that have the adverse effect on the body and society
as well
.
Secondly
, present users might influence the
further
descendants and this would result in the increase number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
patients around the globe. For an instance, according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
department of the USA, 90% of the skin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancers
are reported
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of using
Did you mean "these"?
this
products.

In conclusion
, lighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creams
indeed
allot an individual a chance of
being renewed
in the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, to their health is in the perfect condition then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it is worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
otherwise
it
is considered
as an investment in declining life span of the civilian.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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