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Professor: Because America is such a large country, it took a while before everyone in all areas could really share a common culture. When America was first being settled, people traveled thousands of miles to settle new areas. There was little communicat v.1

Professor: Because America is such a large country, it took a while before everyone in all areas could really share a common culture. When America was first being settled, people traveled thousands of miles to settle new areas. There was little communicat v. 1
People have different views about whether the organization helps face in great needs or focus on their citizens. This essay will examine two views and conclude with my own opinion. On the one hand, some people believe that they should help to face in an emergency situation. Firstly, they should help people or countries that have experienced horrible natural disasters or accidents. It is because nowadays, the whole world is closer, so, if a country in need is faced danger, we can encounter other dangers. For example, Australia has been faced forest fire in former days. It is lead to thousands of animals and insects are dead. This situation could influence our biodiversity. Secondly, we have duty in helping a developing country. There are many infectious diseases, starvation, and shortage of water in Africa. From this point of view, we should help the big problems that arise outside the country. On the other hand, I believe that we should focus on helping people in our country. Primarily, they could be good assets for the country. It is because good quality of the population is competing in a whole world. For example, if we help poor children and their families, when they have a grown up, the children could be great workforce. Second, based a long term, concentrating on people who could be helpful others. This is because if we could help of them, they could have potential which can help other people or countries better. In conclusion, although we could help huge problems, I think we should more focus on our country and society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether the organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
face in great needs or focus on their citizens. This essay will examine two views and conclude with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to face in an emergency situation.
Firstly
, they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have experienced horrible natural disasters or accidents. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, the whole world is closer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in need
is faced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, we can encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
For example
, Australia has
been faced
forest fire in former days. It is lead to thousands of animals and insects are dead. This situation could influence our biodiversity.
Secondly
, we have duty in helping a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
infectious diseases, starvation, and shortage of water in Africa. From this point of view, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems that arise outside the country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that we should focus on helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Primarily
, they could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
assets for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of the population is competing in a whole world.
For example
, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor children and their families, when they have a grown up, the children could be great workforce. Second, based a long term, concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who could be helpful others. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of them, they could have potential which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
better.

In conclusion
, although we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
huge problems, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should more focus on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Professor: Because America is such a large country, it took a while before everyone in all areas could really share a common culture. When America was first being settled, people traveled thousands of miles to settle new areas. There was little communicat v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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