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Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend? v.2

Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 2
In the modern era, we no longer rely on locally grown food only. We can now easily purchase food that crosses a long distance before reaching our local market. Though this trend has some clear benefits as it widens our freedom to choose our food from and reduce the food scarcity, it has some disadvantages that should not be overlooked. No doubt we live in a global village and with the introduction of the speedy transportation system, food grown anywhere could be transported to other parts of the world. This means people can have any fruits, vegetables and other food items from their local market. If something is not locally grown, import it - globalisation has made it possible. It also fosters the international trade, helps many farmers reach the international market and help countries fulfil their food requirements. However, this does not come without a price. The transportation of food requires burning more fuel and this is detrimental to the environment. Just to supply internationally grown fruits, we are unknowingly degrading our green environment. This is a price we cannot afford to pay. Another negative impact of transporting food is putting the local farmers into the competition and they are forced to produce more items at a lower cost and hence the increasing use of chemicals. This is in a way declining the quality of locally grown food items. Furthermore, the consumers are often forced to purchase imported food that was preserved and produced with the use of chemicals. They are harmful to our health and people are purchasing those items at a higher price. Importers cannot ensure the freshness and proper nutrition of imported food. Local sellers also preserve them for several days. This makes it less nutritious and less fresh than the locally produced fruits and vegetables. In conclusion, I personally believe that transporting food over a long distance is undesirable and have more negative consequences that the positive ones. It threatens our local farmers and chemically preserved fruits and vegetables that are being imported is not a healthy choice at all.
In the modern era, we no longer rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that crosses a long distance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market. Though this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits as it widens our freedom to choose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that should not
be overlooked
.

No doubt we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a global village and with the introduction of the speedy transportation system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
grown anywhere could
be transported
to other parts of the world. This means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
, vegetables and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market. If something is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
grown, import it
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
has made it possible. It
also
fosters the international trade,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
farmers reach the international market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
countries fulfil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
requirements.
However
, this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without a price.

The transportation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
requires burning more fuel and this is detrimental to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
to supply
internationally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
, we are
unknowingly
degrading our green environment. This is a price we cannot afford to pay. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is putting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers into the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
competition and
they
are forced
to produce more items at a lower cost and
hence
the increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemicals. This is in a way declining the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items.

Furthermore
, the consumers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that
was preserved
and produced with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemicals. They are harmful to our health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are purchasing those items at a higher price. Importers cannot ensure the freshness and proper nutrition of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
sellers
also
preserve them for several days. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it less nutritious and less fresh than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and vegetables.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over a long distance is undesirable and have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ones. It threatens our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farmers and
chemically
preserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fruits
and vegetables that are
being imported
is not a healthy choice at all.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Today’s food travels thousands of miles before it reaches customers. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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