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Task 1: the three charts below show the percentage of the method which students travel to school in Britain, Australia and Singapore. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

Task 1: the three charts below show the percentage of the method which students travel to school in Britain, Australia and Singapore.
More and more zoos are being built in these days and people do not understand their true value. I firmly believe that a zoo has a great number of benefits for children and adults. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in this essay. First and foremost, in the technological world, there are almost no chances to interact with real nature directly. However, thanks to the zoo, people can gain knowledge about the ecosystem and environment from it with more ease. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my experience. When I was a little girl, there was no zoo in my country. Thus, I always watched these beautiful animals on TV. Nevertheless, one day I got an opportunity to travel to Singapore which had plenty of zoos. I was really looking forward to seeing it because it felt like my dream came true. During this trip, I saw hundreds of animals and even I fed them from my bare hands. Since that time, I truly wanted to become a zoologist and started to learn them from Biology books and newspapers which were the only things that I could see whenever I wanted. Today I majored on zoologist as my bachelor degree and I always think that if I had not seen the zoo, I could have not understood how much it was worthwhile. Furthermore, the zoo is the only place where can protect some animals from extinction and poaching and so on. Most of the organization usually keeps animals in their cages; however, in the zoo, they usually live in simulated habitats. As a result, they will feel more convenient in that area. Drawing from my own experience, Two years ago, for the first time I worked in the zoo as a part-time worker. I learned a lot of invaluable things such as how to properly take care of animals and even learned their behaviours. Some of them were born and died in the zoo, so I deeply understood how much effort the zoo spent on these animals’ lives. It goes without that zoo makes their life better because nature is becoming harsher and ruthless and even some people are becoming monster these days. Therefore, the only rescue for these animals is the zoo. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the zoo has plenty of benefits compared to other organizations and agencies. This is because it enhances our knowledge in this area and gives a chance to interact with the real nature and more importantly protects animals from inevitable disasters.
More and more zoos are
being built
in these days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not understand their true value. I
firmly
believe that a zoo has a great number of benefits for children and adults. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in this essay.

First
and foremost, in the technological world, there are almost no chances to interact with real nature
directly
.
However
, thanks to the zoo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can gain knowledge about the ecosystem and environment from it with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my experience. When I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
girl, there was no zoo in my country.
Thus
, I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on TV.
Nevertheless
, one day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an opportunity to travel to Singapore which had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of zoos. I was
really
looking forward to seeing it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it felt like my dream came true. During this trip, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and even I fed them from my bare hands. Since that time, I
truly
wanted to become a zoologist and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to learn them from Biology books and newspapers which were the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
things that I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
whenever I wanted.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I majored on zoologist as my bachelor degree and I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if I had not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the zoo, I could have not understood how much it was worthwhile.

Furthermore
, the zoo is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place where can protect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction and poaching and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Most of the organization
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their cages;
however
, in the zoo, they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in simulated habitats.
As a result
, they will feel more convenient in that area. Drawing from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, Two years ago, for the
first
time I worked in the zoo as a part-time worker. I learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
invaluable things such as how to
properly
take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and even learned their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
were born
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in the zoo,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
deeply
understood how much effort the zoo spent on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It goes without that zoo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their life better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nature is becoming harsher and ruthless and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming monster these days.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rescue for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the zoo.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that the zoo has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits compared to other organizations and agencies. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it enhances our knowledge in this area and gives a chance to interact with the real nature and more
importantly
protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from inevitable disasters.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task 1: the three charts below show the percentage of the method which students travel to school in Britain, Australia and Singapore.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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