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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree? v.11

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree? v. 11
The government in many countries use prison as a common way to punish criminals. While I agree with this way, I believe that education is also a positive effect on those who commit a crime. On the one hand, there are several reasons why jail is considered as a solution to reduce the crime rate. The first reason is that prisoners must be aware of the punishment for breaking laws. Murders, for instance, will be imprisoned for many years, and this detention is such a deterrent for those who intend to commit a crime. Offenders will realise that they will face the loss of freedom, social isolation and separate them from loved ones. Another reason is that imprisoning is an effective way to keep away the safety of public from offenders. As a result, there is no danger to society and residents, and they can take part in any social activities without fear since criminals are behind bars. On the other hand, as my consideration, education is a complementary factor that distributes to a decrease in the crime rate. Armed with some fundamental knowledge in schools that will help students to avoid acting illegal things or becoming a victim. For example, youngsters must study the important laws in terms of driving and road safety. In addition, for offenders, it is necessary to provide educational programmes in order to teach them with skills and qualifications, to help them to find a job after they are released. In conclusion, I would emphasise that prison plays an integral role in tackling crime. Besides, education is also an essential part to deal with crime.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
prison as a common way to punish criminals. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this way, I believe that education is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on those who commit a crime.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why jail
is considered
as a solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. The
first
reason is that prisoners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware of the punishment for breaking laws. Murders,
for instance
, will
be imprisoned
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, and this detention is such a deterrent for those who intend to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Offenders will
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they will face the loss of freedom, social isolation and separate them from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. Another reason is that imprisoning is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away the safety of public from offenders.
As a result
, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to society and residents, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in any social activities without fear since criminals are behind bars.

On the other hand
, as my consideration, education is a complementary factor that distributes to a decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. Armed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fundamental knowledge in schools that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to avoid acting illegal things or becoming a victim.
For example
, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
study the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
laws in terms of driving and road safety.
In addition
, for offenders, it is necessary to provide educational
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in order to teach them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualifications, to
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
a job after they
are released
.

In conclusion
, I would
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
that prison plays an integral role in tackling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Besides
, education is
also
an essential part to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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